Shattered family
by Athese
Summary: The worst has happened. His sons were badly hurt in battle and on the verge of dying. And the worst of all, it was all Splinter's fault. Alternative ending of 'I monster'.
1. Chapter 1

The lair was silent. Above them the wind was raging and rain was falling in big amounts. Floating the sewers slightly. The usual bright and loud lair was quiet. Like death was hanging over it. Clouding every happiness and driving it away.

Master Splinter was sitting in the infirmary. He hadn't left it since that fateful incident. His head was hanging low. He was ashamed of himself. So many times he had been scared for his sons. He had trained them all these years so they could protect themselves from the people above. But he was just too strong.

And it pained himself to think that he was the one hurting his family. The person they trusted, relied on. And just like that. He turned his back towards them. And injured them. The last thing he remembered was being in the dojo with April. He knew the Rat King was trying to get to him, to control him but he wasn't about to let him.

He would fight it off but his power kept growing stronger and stronger. Until the point it was too much, and then everything went black. The next thing he remembered was standing over his oldest son Leonardo. His eyes were wide with fear. His blue eyes were trembling and filled with hurt and betrayal.

Cuts and bruises covering his whole body. His swords shattered next to him. Broken and thrown away like trash. Small lines of blood were trailing down his body, staining the floor beneath him. And the same blood was on his blade. His leg had been bended in the wrong way. His right leg was perfectly normal, wounded, but normal.

His left one was another story. His whole leg had been bended in an unnatural angle. Dislocated.

He had no idea what has happened in between there, but he could fairly guess it. And the blood on his blade already told him enough. He had hurt his sons. Rocks had been fallen down. Donatello's bo-staff was snapped in half. Michelangelo's nun chucks were broken and Raph's sais were carelessly thrown into the wall. Breaking at the tip.

Day after day he would have nightmares about his sons. Ever since the Shredder showed up he had been scared. Scared for the lives of his sons. After the loss of his beloved Tang Shen and his little daughter Miwa he had been devastated, and once he had found his four new sons he had sworn he would protect them. He couldn't bare losing another child, and right now they were in danger. And it was all his fault.

So many night he had grounded his sons, forced them to do extra training. Making sure they would survive on the surface. Trained them so they could fight off the Shredder and his servants. But they weren't prepared for their own father. They had never thought they would've to fight against their own father, and neither did he.

But he knew, the moment he saw Leonardo laying beneath him, he had broken the promise he had made to himself long ago. That he would protect his sons no matter what, and he had vowed he would prevent his sons from getting hurt, and dying.

He had already broken the first one, but he hadn't broken the last one. And he hoped, he just hoped so deeply he would be able to keep that promise and prevent his sons from dying.

* * *

><p><strong>TMNT<strong>

When Leo woke up he knew nothing had changed again. It was the third day right now and his body was still sore and hurting from the fight. His leg still heavily bandaged. Reaching his whole upper-leg and part of his hips. He was continuously under the effect of a calming tea. He refused to take sedatives since they would make his mind foggy and that was the least he wanted.

He had to stay strong now. For his brothers but even for his father. He couldn't slip away now. His brothers counted on him. And if he would give up his father would have nothing to fight for.

He groaned slightly as he pushed himself up. Ignoring his protesting limps and carefully flipped his legs over the side. He bit his lip, preventing him from making any sounds as he felt the familiar flaring pain again but he bit it away and quickly grabbed his crutches. He hated them. They prevented him from all fast movement but at least he could walk on his own right now.

The first day he could only sit and lie in bed. His body was covered with scrapes, bruises, cuts and blood. And his limps just refused to support his weight. Not that he could even stand on his bad leg. He closed his eyes slightly. The memory of Splinter setting his leg was still fresh on his mind and he could still recall the pain he had felt then and there.

But the most important was that he didn't blame his father. He had hurt him and his brothers. Beaten them without mercy but he knew his father would never do that willingly. And he knew it was the fault of the Rat King. That he was forcing his father to hurt them. And there was no way Splinter could disobey him.

At least that was what the Rat King thought. He had him under control. One of the best karate masters and he was under his control. But he didn't think of the possibility that Splinter's mind would be stronger than the spell. And that he would break out of it.

Leo was grateful he did. Just so grateful he managed to get out of the Rat kings grip. Otherwise he would now be lying there on the ground. His father's sword lunged deep inside of him. And his brothers would be there left to die. Slowly and painfully. But he just couldn't help himself but to think what would've been different if his father would be faster.

If he would've disconnected with the Rat King earlier. Before he could do all the damage to him and his brothers. They would never be in this mess. His three younger brothers wouldn't be out cold, lifeless in the infirmary and his father wouldn't be beating himself up every second of the day. Straining himself beyond his limits. Refusing to rest or sleep, continuously staying with his sons, and Leo's brothers.

Leo sighed shortly before making his way outside his room. The lair was still quiet. It had been quiet for over 3 days right now. The lair which would always be filled with laughter and joy. The familiar sound of the TV, him watching his favorite show. Mikey goofing around and laughing. Cheering everyone up.

The sound of Raph training. His usual growls and comments he would make towards his practice dummy. The sound of stuff crashing into each other and the yells of his father that would follow.

The lair which would always be filled with Donnie's explanations. Eagerly talking about a new experiment or something that was discovered. The familiar explosions in his lab, and the explosion of Raph afterwards.

He hadn't touched his swords after the incident. His father had offered him new swords but he couldn't muster the energy to train again. His old swords were ones he got from his father all those years ago. They were his swords. They had aided him all those years and he refuse to use any other swords.

The door to the infirmary was still open, the last 3 days it hadn't been closed and the beeping sound kept ringing through the lair. He hated that sound. It only remembered him that his brothers needed to be watched every hour of the day.

The continuous beeping of the heart monitor only remembered him that his brothers were still unconscious and that they could die any second. And that his father was to blame for it.

"Master Splinter?" Leo said in a soft tone when he limped inside the infirmary. Leo's face flashed with guilt. His father was sitting on an old chair Donnie always used in his lab. His elbows were resting on his knees and he was holding the bandanas of his brothers.

"Still no change?" Leo whispered. Slowly his father lifted his head. His eyes were swollen and red, filled with so much hurt and guilt. It was very rare they actually saw their father crying and right now he was just a sobbing mess.

"Not yet my son" Splinter spoke in a low tone and dropped his head again. His whole body was trembling from exhaustion and even after these few days you could see that he was getting sick. His fur wasn't as shiny as it always was and his aura had darkened. Filled with grief and guilt.

Leo sighed again and glanced around the infirmary. The room had changed so much these last few days. They had moved all the furniture in the lab to the sides and had settled three beds in the infirmary instead.

Splinter honestly hated to do so but he was forced to steal from a nearby hospital. It was the only way to keep his sons alive.

With a lot of effort they eventually had found some used curtains, like the ones they have in hospitals, to separate the guys. They would need their privacy once they had woken up. If they would even wake up again.

Leo glanced to his 3 brothers. Just lying motionless in their beds. Their eyes closed, breathing masks on their faces. Raph was even that bad that he had to be intubated. And Leo hated seeing him like this.

He was so lifeless and his face was so peaceful but Leo knew he wasn't. He knew his little brother had to be in pain, even in his unconscious state. Wires ran through his body, providing him with fluids to keep him alive

Donnie wasn't any better. A breathing mask was put over his face, several wires inside his body, feeding him all kinds of fluids to keep him alive. Just like Raph.

All the way on his right was Mikey. He too had a breathing mask on his face and wires to provide him with the necessary fluids. But just as his two other brothers he was completely lifeless. And the worst of all wasn't the fact his brothers were probably going to die.

No it was that they would probably die by the hand of their own father.

**So here it is, my new story :D **

**This is another version of what could've happened in 'I monster' Where Splinter was controlled by the rat king. Here he didn't snap out of it in time, and this happened :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**So now we get to know what happened to them, or Donnie at least :) **

Leo sighed as he ran his fingers over Donnie's face again. It seemed so small and so helpless. His mouth was partly open, revealing the gab in his front teeth. When they were younger they would always tease him with it, say that even the worms could pass through it, Donnie would refuse to open his mouth for days, afraid that worms might crawl out of his teeth.

And even though they always teased him, sensei kept saying it made him look cute and he was unique. And Donnie had adapted this, and over the years they didn't tease him anymore. Partly because it wasn't funny but mostly because Donnie wasn't responding anymore, he was proud of his smile, and teeth.

Leo wiped away a tear. "Those were good times" Leo whispered and smiled sadly. Just a few days ago they were all so carefree and easy going. Of course each of them had to face monsters and Kraang regularly, but they were happy. He couldn't believe things could change so fast.

"Donnie, I miss you, the lair isn't the same without your ranting. I miss your explosions, your experimental talk nobody ever understood. Heck, I even miss your outbursts" Leo grinned slightly. "You're scary Donnie, really scary when you get mad" He joked the last sentence and cracked a weak smile. He hated talking to his little brother like that.

He hated that his brothers were now lifeless on the bed, probably never waking up. Each of them were still out of it, even after 3 days. Monitors and fluids keeping them alive. Donnie was probably the worst out of them. A sword stabbing him, sensei's sword. The most dangerous thing would be the infection, luckily he and Splinter had managed to prevent this from happening, but that didn't mean he was out of danger.

**TMNT**

_Leo's eyes widened when he was forcefully thrown against the steel pipe. He grunted, feeling his sore muscles. Another scream tore from one of his brothers and before he even knew Donnie was flying straight to him. He yelped and ducked to the sight so Donnie slammed full force into the steel pipe. His head contracted into his shell slightly before immediately pulling out. _

_"I just got a horrible realization, he's been going easy on us all these years!" Donnie screamed when he noticed how quickly Sensei managed to knock them all away. Leo and Donnie quickly exchanged some glanced before Leo ran to the side and Donnie grabbed his Bo. With a quick movement he jumped down and slammed down onto Sensei, only to notice he wasn't there anymore. _

_His eyes widened when he saw Sensei standing just a meter away, his eyes still glowing red. He bared his teeth and began to attack his father. He didn't want to but they couldn't be defeated now, it would kill them, and eventually Splinter when he snapped out of it. _

_"Oh come on!" Donnie cried out when all his attacks missed, his father easily dodged them, after all he had taught Donnie all those tricks. Sensei didn't even respond and jumped away from his second youngest son. Donnie frowned and jumped towards his sensei, trying to slam him to force him into unconsciousness. But it didn't work. _

_Again Sensei deflected his attacks and knocked the bo out of his hands. Donnie stared wide eyed when he had no weapon anymore and swallowed when Sensei drew his blade. He wasn't quick enough and with one swift motion the blade went through his skin. Going from one hip towards the other, piercing him. _

_Donnie gasped and stared wide eyed at the blade piercing his body. Blood was beginning to seep through and with a powerful kick he was sent into the wall. He hit the wall and collapsed immediately. Losing unconscious upon the contact. _

Splinter winced when he remember that horrible memory. He could still see the look of betrayal on his son's face when his blade pierced through his skin. The blade was sharp, so sharp it easily pierced the hard substance on his side.

He shut his eyes and tried to focus on his meditation again but it didn't seem to work. For the first time in his life he couldn't concentrate. He could only see his sons, hurt and broken. Gashes, scratches, mangles limps, and all was his fault.

Every time he walked into the lab he was remember that he had hurt his sons. That he was the cause of their pain, the cause of their suffering. And the cause that they might die. Leo was constantly watching his brothers, only when he was asleep he wasn't watching over his brothers. And Splinter hated it. Leonardo was suffering just as badly as his brothers.

Not physically, no his pain was worse. The uncertainty. The feeling of being worthless. The fact that his brothers might never wake up, and it tore him apart. Apart from a lot of families they were always so close. They shared each other's pains, each other's feelings. Practically they shared everything. They could never hide anything long from each other.

They always knew when someone was lying, or when someone was hurting. They would always see it with each other. When someone wasn't feeling well they would always know, and they were always prepared to help. Despite they didn't show it very often, they were very protective. And whenever one got hurt or sick every one of them would help each other.

They would always refuse to leave each other's sides. They would always stay with each other. And even now Leonardo was keeping that promise.

His second youngest was so close to dying. The way his sword had pierced would've killed any regular human, but they weren't human, and that was what saved him. He didn't really understand why, Donatello was the medical of them, not him. But he knew their mutation saved him. But on the other side it was the cause of all this.

He was the cause of all their pain. And the moment he regained control again he was standing over Leonardo. Sword in his hand and ready to kill him. He immediately realized what he had done, he had hurt his sons. The ones he vowed to protect every way he could.

Leo had immediately ran over to his brothers to help them. And he was freaking out. His usual calm and controlled son was losing his mind then and there. And Splinter didn't blame him. His brothers were hurt, and he couldn't find Mikey and Raph.

Splinter managed to stay calm and had called for April, his voice was urgent and April came down immediately. He still didn't understand how they managed to take all of his sons home, Leonardo was hurt, not too bad but still hurt, leg dislocated.

And still he managed to carry his youngest, Michelangelo home. April managed to drag Raphael home and Splinter reached down for Donatello. Once they entered the lair Splinter immediately hurried to the lab to stabilize his sons. Donatello being their first priority. It was then he noticed how the sword had cut his body and there was a change he would survive the attack.

He had immediately connected him with an IV, put a breathing mask on his face and treated his wounds. And that was all he could do was wait, wait for any complications overnight. He was so lucky his son survived the first night, all of them, but they weren't save yet. Raphael wasn't save, Michelangelo wasn't save, and neither was Donatello.

They weren't going to die from their injuries, that was sure. Splinter, April and Leo had managed to treat them all, but there was still a very, very big change that their bodies would shut down, and if that happened, not even the machines could keep them alive.

**I left out Mikey and Raph for a reason, that's next chapter ^^ **


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey Raph it's me, Leo" The blue banded turtle sighed and carefully placed Spike on Raph's plastron. "Spike is wondering where you are Raph" Leo continued and awkwardly patted Spike's shell. The pet turtle didn't seem to notice and just continued to eat his leaf

"We miss you Raph… I miss you. The lair isn't the same without you, without any of you. Sensei keeps blaming himself. He misses all of you." Leo confessed and bit his lip. Awkwardly he brushed Raph's right hand. It was ice cold and Leo shivered slightly.

"Remember that time we went to explore the sewer tunnels?" Leo started and looked up to his unconscious brother. "You were there, Donnie and Mikey too and we played followed the leader again. You were running away from us, again, and we got into this abandoned part of the sewer." Leo continued and looked from Spike to Raph, but his younger brother still didn't respond.

"You weren't paying attention, you were teasing us for not being able to keep up so you didn't see where you were going. It wasn't a long fall but you landed wrong remember?" Leo asked, in the hope his brother would respond for a change, but the red banded turtle didn't even stir the slightest bit.

"Both of your knees were dislocated and you didn't even shed a single tear. You fought your way through the pain, even when Splinter had to set your knees multiple times because they kept popping" Leo smiled slightly and wiped away his first tears.

"You were so brave Raph, even when we all thought you might never be able to walk again. Your knees kept dislocating so Splinter had to put braces around your knees, but you couldn't walk with them so we feared you might never walk again, of course you didn't accept that and began training. Father trained your knees and gradually minimized the braces on your knees until you could wear special ones under you knee pads" Leo said and closed his eyes slightly.

He still remembered the fear he felt back then. The fear for his little brother. He knew Raph would do anything to get better and he did. He trained every day to get his knees into shape again. Trained so his knees could support themselves but they all knew they were never going to be the same again. And it would always be a point of weakness.

But he didn't mind, he just wanted to train normal again, with his brothers. He wasn't going to live separately again. And the worst thing was the second time would probably his own fault. The first time wasn't his fault. They day they got mutated, and the glass shattered Raph got badly hurt. The glass pierced his shoulder, and caused the chip in his plastron.

The first days were critical. Splinter had to take care of 3 mutant turtles, while also caring for a sick one. Hamato Yoshi had some basic medical knowledge but he had never treated a mutant turtle before, and it wasn't like he could go to a hospital.

Once Raph did get better he couldn't play or walk around for a very long time. While his brothers were happily playing he was bedridden. And that was probably the cause of his bad temper and the fact he always wants to be the best.

He didn't want to live separately again. Like he did the first months in his life. He missed all these months playing with his brothers and developing like normal toddlers. And when his knees were dislocated he feared he had to live that all over again. But luckily this wasn't the case. But now he was unconscious again.

"You weren't going to live separately back then, so please don't do it now" Leo pleaded and ran his fingers over the crack on Raph's plastron. He knew it was a lame thing to ask, and he knew that if Raph had the choice he would wake up.

There was a reason he was the muscles of the team, there was a reason he was the strongest. It was the fact he trained so much. He used to be in the dojo for hours to get better, and eventually get better than his brothers.

And even after all the training he wasn't ready to face his father.

_Leo stared wide eyed when he saw his little brother collapsing with the wall. His hips were stained with blood and the sword that was once in his hips was in his father's hands. There was no emotion on his face while Donnie was gasping for air. _

_Blood was forming beneath his body and he was slowly twitching, trying anything to get away and defend himself. _

_"Donnie!" Mikey screamed and threw his chain before Splinter could charge onto Donnie again. Mikey's eyes widened when Splinter looked up to him. Staring into Mikey's eyes with his glowing ones. With one simple movement he pulled Mikey down and gave him a fierce kick, sending him towards the wall, just a few meters away from Donnie. _

_Mikey groaned and looked up. His father drew his sword again and was about to charge onto Mikey when Raph deflected the attack. _

_"Nobody hits Mikey but me!" Raph growled and pushed Splinter backwards bit and raised his weapons. Leo and Mikey both rushed to Donnie after that. He was still on the ground and the puddle of blood kept increasing in size. Without thinking Leo de-attached his own elbow pads and pressed them on both sides of Donnie's hips. _

_"Sorry Don" Leo whispered when his younger brother began to moan in pain and gave a weak attempt to pull away. They could hear Raph and Splinter fighting but Leo had to help Donnie, otherwise he would bleed out. _

_"NO Raph!" Mikey screamed and Leo dared to look up, but immediately regret his action. His father's blade was pierced through Raph shoulder from the back. He had his sword in his left hand and his right hand grabbed Raph's right hand and pulled it straight. Raph roared in pain as his father kept the blade right into his shoulder. _

_"Mikey!" Leo alarmed when he saw his father pushing Raph onto the ground. The blade was pushed out of Raph's shoulder slightly but was still stuck in between the flesh. Raph let out another roar of pain and Splinter stepped onto his elbow, sending out a nauseating crack. Mikey grabbed his nun chucks and charged in on his father. _

_But he wasn't fast enough. The moment he started running Splinter jerked Raph's arm upwards, while pinning his elbow onto the ground, giving it another nauseating crack. Raph's roar of pain echoed through the whole sewer and sent shivers down Leo's spine. _

_Easily Splinter deflected Mikey's attack and without mercy grabbed the sword that was in Raph's shoulder and blocked another attack, sending Mikey's nun chuck far away. Splinter elbowed Mikey away from him and focused on Raphael again, grabbing him by his mangled right arm and sent him flying towards the other side, throwing him against the wall. There wasn't any sound coming from Raph apart from the low grunt of pain. _

_"Raph!" Mikey cried out again as he watched his older brother lifeless on the ground. His right arm was totally messed up. His shoulder was pierced, his elbow broken and dislocated and Raph wasn't moving. _

Leo winced when he remember that awful memory. He didn't want his last memory of Raph to be him lying there, broken and in pain. He wanted his living brother again, his short-tempered brother. His secretly caring brother.

"Please Raph, you didn't give up all those years ago, so don't do it now. I need you. I need you all." Leo cried and buried his face in Raph's blankets. Hot tears were making its way down Leo's cheeks. He needed them. He needed all of them. He couldn't live without his brothers. And the fact that his brothers were probably not going to wake up made him sick inside.

He didn't want any of his brothers to die. He didn't even know if he could live with himself if his brothers would die. What he would do when he would be the last mutant turtle on the whole earth. He would be lost but he couldn't give up. His father would be devastated.

But he wasn't sure if he could continue to live if his brothers would die.


	4. Chapter 4

**Finally testweek is over :D So here is a new chapter ^^**

Ever since they were younger Mikey was always the most energetic one. Sensei would have trouble keeping them all under control, but especially Mikey. It seemed like Sensei could never satisfy him. Every time he gave Mikey another toy or something to play with, and just as he thought he could have some peace and quiet, Mikey was bored again.

From a very young age it was already very clear he wasn't good at concentrating and every time Sensei would try to teach him something he would get distracted. He was always full of energy and was practically bouncing through the whole lair.

Only at nights they would finally get a little peace, but even in his sleep he would stir, talk and make sounds to wake up his brothers.

But right now he was perfectly quiet, he was just lying there, unmoving. It wasn't like him, it wasn't how he would always be. It wasn't how Leo remembered his little brother. He wanted to remember the energetic little brother, who was smiling every day, not the unconscious and hurt brother.

Leo wiped away a single tear and rubbed Mikey's hand slightly. He had really thought he would finally wake up. He was really hoping he would. He had stayed in the lab again the whole night, lying on top of his little brother when he woke up from a sudden movement.

Mikey had twitched right beneath him, he was so happy and he really thought he would finally wake up, but he didn't. Even after 4 days they were still unconscious, all of them.

"I-I can't take this anymore Mikey… I c-can't stand seeing you like this, all of you. I don't want you to … to die" Leo swallowed heavily and trailed his fingers along Mikey's arm. His skin was already slightly cracking, just like Donnie and Raph but he had no idea what to do about it, Donnie was the medical, not them.

It was even a miracle they managed to keep them alive. To treat Donnie's stab wound, to keep away the infection. To set Raph's arm and stitch his stabbed shoulder. Although they couldn't prevent the slight infection, and with it a fever. And somehow they also managed to relocate Mikey's knees.

_"Raph!" Mikey cried out again as he watched his older brother lifeless on the ground. His right arm was totally messed up. His shoulder was pierced, his elbow broken and dislocated and Raph wasn't moving. Mikey frowned and grabbed his nun chucks again. _

_"This is for hurting my brothers!" Mikey screamed with more rage than they had ever seen him, He sent his chucks flying and they barely scraped along Sensei's arm. Mikey's eyes widened and backed up slightly. His father wasn't even wincing at the slight attack. He wasn't showing any emotion. _

_"This is where I belong, with my brothers" Splinter said in a dangerous tone and grabbed Mikey by the arm. Mikey screamed and tried to get out of his father's hold but it wasn't enough, and with one quick movement Mikey was thrown onto the higher platform, where Leo and Donnie had been just seconds ago. _

_Mikey groaned and rubbed his sore head. "Mikey Look out!" Leo cried out and Mikey was just fast enough to dodge a strong kick from his father. Mikey yelped and pressed his shell against the corner, trying to get as far from his father as possible. But he was cornered and his father was enclosing on him. _

_"Sensei snap out of it!" Mikey cried and tried to deflect his father but it was no use. Splinter grabbed Mikey again and lifted him up by his shell. Mikey cried out in discomfort and tried to get out of grip but it wasn't working. _

_"Let me go, please!" Mikey yelled and his father moved closer to the edge. Dangling him over the edge. "No, no no" Mikey screamed as he stared at the ground beneath him, but before he could do anything his shell was released and he fell down. He screamed as hard as he could and tried to grab something on his way down but he didn't find anything. _

_He could just hear the faint screaming of Leo before he hit the ground. His knees protested and pain shot through his body. He lout out another scream and fell on his knees before falling on his side, his knees awkwardly twisted beneath him. _

_Tears were rolling down his cheek as he tried to reach out for Raph who was just a meter from him. "R-Raphie" He struggled and pushed himself up slightly. Blood was continuously pouring out of Raph's shoulder and his face was contracted with pain. _

_Mikey cried out as another wave of pain hit him. His arms began to buckle beneath his weight and he fell flat on his plastron. _

_"Finish them" The rat king's voice beamed through the sewers. Mikey's eyes widened and he looked up to his father. Splinter looked him in the eyes for a short time. His glowing red eyes pierced through Mikey's baby blue ones before he easily tapped the ground beneath him. _

_With one single tick on the hard concrete it started to crack and before they could even defend themselves the rocks started rolling down. Mikey was frozen in place, he was unable to move as the stones continued nearing them. _

_"Mikey! Raph!" Leo screamed before Mikey was knocked backwards as the bricks hit him and Raph. And then everything went dark. _

"I need you Mikey…. I need you laughing and you joking. I need you bouncing through the lair again, like you always do. Please Mikey, I can't live without you, sensei can't live without you. Any of you" Leo whispered and placed the his other hand on his chest.

His heart was painfully beating beneath his plastron. From the fear. He feared for all 3 of them. And it was the same fear he felt all those years ago. It all seemed to repeat itself. Mikey's knees which continued to pop over and over again.

He still knew how Raph reacted when he found out about his knees, when he learned what might happen to him. Raph was the toughest of them, hardly showed any emotion, and was the least affected by it. But Mikey was different.

He would always show his emotion. He was the most huggable of them, laughed the most, cried the most, had the most nightmares. And Leo feared how he would react when he would wake up. If he ever woke up.

**TMNT**

She had absolutely no idea what the teacher was saying. She just stared to the paper beneath her. She couldn't concentrate these last few days. All these days went in a blur. She went to class, and went to her aunt's house. She couldn't pay attention, her mind kept wandering to her mutant friends.

She could still remember how worried Sensei had sounded when she was called.

_"Hello?" April frowned when she picked up the phone. She laid her pencil down and stood up. From the background she could hear Leo screaming. Calling the names of his brothers. For a few seconds nobody responded to her. _

_"April can you please come down here? Something… horrible happened" Splinter spoke to her. April frowned again. It wasn't like Splinter, he sounded different, off. He mostly wasn't this urgent. _

_"Yes, of course! I'm on my way" She immediately responded before the line went silent. The last thing she heard was the scream of Leo, calling out for Raph and Mikey. As fast as she could she stormed out of her room and grabbed her jacket. She wrote a quick note for her aunt, in case she would come back while she was still away and then left the house. _

_She ran down the streets towards the nearest manhole and used her phone to see where her friends were. They weren't that far from the lair but they weren't moving, which concerned her. A few rats passed her but she didn't pay attention to them and just continued to run. _

_She was shocked when she saw the room where her friends were in. In the last few months she had seen many weird and shocking things. She had seen Donnie getting beaten by a giant monkey. Her dad was kidnapped, they were gravely injured by the Shredder. Her friend Murakami San was kidnapped by the purple dragons. _

_She had fought the Kraang, battled mutants, lived with mutants. Her life was practically turned upside down but nothing was compared to what she was seeing. The place was a mess. Bricks had fallen down, blood was splattered around the room. And her friends were injured. _

_"What happened?" April shrieked as she ran to Donnie first, who was closest to her. His belt was taken off and used to press Leo's knee pads on both sides of his hips. But blood was still seeping through. Her eyes were wide as she looked around. Leo and Splinter were on the other side of the room, but she couldn't find Mikey and Raph. _

_"Master Splinter!" She screamed but he didn't respond to her and continued to dig into the bricks. A sob escaped April's mouth when she recognized the figure lying beneath all the bricks, it was Raph. With a simple movement Splinter pulled his son out of the pile and placed him on the ground. _

_Scrapes were all over his body, bleeding slightly. His shoulder was still bleeding, his elbow was in a weird angle and he was dangerously pale. April was frozen in place as Splinter just turned away from Raph. Why would he do that? But her answers were soon answered when Splinter pulled Mikey from under the bricks too. _

_And just like Raph he wasn't moving. April felt a single tear escape her eye and she looked back at Donnie, she wasn't a medical. She had no idea what to do. _

_"Raph, Mikey" She could hear Leo saying and her heart broke. Leo sounded so broken, so scared. And she knew he was. She had no idea what happened but she knew they were going critical. Even from here she could see how bad Raph's right arm was, and how both Mikey's knees were dislocated. And they were all unconscious. _

_"We have to get them back to the lair, sensei" Leo said and went over to pick Mikey. Sensei merely nodded and rushed over to Donnie. April knew better than to protest and handed Donnie to him. Donnie moaned from the pain but didn't show any sign of waking up. _

_"I'll get Raph" April said and ran to Raph, hosting him up by his good arm. She folded her free arm around Raph's shell but just like Donnie he wasn't waking up. She had honestly no idea how they even managed to get to the lair, but they did. And once they came back the first thing they did was take care of Donnie._

_They had placed a bed for Donnie in the lab and began treating his worst injuries. April helped Sensei setting up the rest of the infirmary while Leo kept sitting with Mikey and Raph close to him. It didn't take April long to figure out Leo's leg was also dislocated, just as Mikey's knees. _

_Once two other beds were set up she picked Raph up and placed him on one of the beds but didn't cover him with a blanket yet. She carefully placed some bandages under his shoulder to prevent him from staining the bed but she had no idea what to do so she just wrapped it loosely around his shoulder and kept his elbow for the time being. _

_She took Mikey from Leo afterwards and placed him on the last bed, supporting his knees with a pillow. Splinter treated Donnie the best he could but it wasn't enough, not with the tools they had. _

_"April, it pains me to ask this but could you look after Raphael and try to stop his bleeding? I have to go fetch the needed medicals for Donatello" Splinter asked. There was something about him, something different and she had no idea what. And she still had no idea what even happened to them but she didn't ask now. _

_"Of course, good luck" She offered and watched as Splinter quickly left. He knew they couldn't afford to lose any more time, or Donnie would be gone for good. "Leo stay down, you're hurt too" April practically cried out when Leo wanted to move but he didn't listen and just continued his way over to Raph's bed. April nodded slightly to Leo before they both started working on Raph. _

"April!" Someone called out and confused she looked up. The classroom was empty, only the teacher was in front of the classroom and someone was next to her, Irma. She had a concerned look on her face and only then April knew she was crying.

"I'm sorry" She mumbled and wiped away her tears. Irma sighed and touched her glasses slightly.

"What happened April? You were just staring, I called you like 10 times but you weren't responding" Irma asked and took a chair and sat down next to April. The red haired teen and bit her lip. She couldn't tell Irma about them, how much she wanted to.

"Something happened" April admitted vaguely but didn't go into any details. Irma was shocked and frowned slightly while the teacher came up to them.

"I will leave you two to talk, I will inform the teacher of your next lesson that you will be later" The teacher offered and patted April's shoulder slightly. "Good luck" He said and then left Irma and April alone in the classroom.

"What happened April?" Irma whispered and took April's hands in her own hands. April closed her eyes briefly. Just a few days ago those hands were stained with blood. Raphael's blood. She could still feel the warm blood trickling down her hands and staining the bandages.

"Something terrible happened to someone I know" April hesitantly started. She wanted to talk about what happened. How awful it was to see her friends like that. To see Leo so defeat. To see Sensei so full of guilt. But she couldn't give them away.

"What happened?" Irma pushed but wasn't very persistent either. April looked up to Irma and shuddered. The screams of Leo when Splinter was popping his leg back. The sounds of Mikey's knees being re-located. The stitches in Raph's skin. The blood coming from Donnie. It was all too much.

"There was an accident….. " She drew a big breath. "A far cousin of mine had an argument with her father and …. there was an accident… and it was all his fault… but he didn't' mean to, and now ….. she's in a coma" April confessed and burst into tears. It was partly true.

"April…" Irma whispered and took April in her arms. April wrapped her own arms around her friend and cried in her hold. Irma knew she didn't have to push April into telling more, and April was grateful for that. And she cried in Irma's hold. She cried for Sensei, for Leo. And for her mutant friends who might never wake up.

**TMNT**

**I know Irma wasn't there around this episode but I had to have someone April could talk to. **

**Please review ^^ **


	5. Chapter 5

"Sensei?" Leo whispered as he entered the dojo. His father was still in front of the large tree, meditating, like he'd been the last 4 days. "Are you okay?" Leo bit his lip slightly. It was such a stupid question, of course he wasn't. Neither of them were. But he still asked it.

"I am fine, my son" Splinter spoke in a calm tone but kept his eyes closed. And even in his calm state Leo could see through the words, through the lies. He could see beyond the calm appearance of his father. He could see his sad and guilty father.

"You don't have to pretend." Leo whispered but he mentally face palmed himself afterwards. He was supposed to make him feel better, not worse. "I'm sorry" Leo quickly said when he saw the guilt washing over his father's face.

"Do not fret my son, how are your brothers today?" Sensei said, trying to hide his emotions but obviously failed. His ears were twitching slightly and he was losing his concentration. Leo immediately felt guilty for interrupting him.

"Nothing yet, Mikey twitched slightly but he hasn't woken up. Neither of them" Leo said quietly and stared towards the ground. He shifted slightly on the ground, repositioning his crutches. He didn't want to but he couldn't help it but to blame his father.

He loved his father, and he trusted him. But after all it was his fault. He was the one who stuck a blade through Donnie's hips, he was the one to severely hurt Raph's right arm, and he was the one who dislocated Mikey's knees. And he was the that dislocated Leo's leg. And how much he hated himself for it, he couldn't help but to blame his father.

If he just snapped out of it soon enough, if he regained control a little bit quicker, if he told them soon enough so they could go after the rat king sooner, Then he wasn't limping now, his father wasn't beating himself up, and his brothers weren't unconscious.

"They will be fine Leonardo" Splinter encouraged Leo but he knew Splinter wasn't sure about it either. Leo knew his father wasn't sure if they would woke up, and neither was he. And that was the most horrible thing to experience. The uncertainty. He had no idea if his brothers would wake up, or would die someday.

He would rather have an immediate answer. He wanted them to wake up now, he didn't want to live in uncertainly for who knows how long. He wanted them to wake up now, he just wanted his brothers back, his old life. Mikey bouncing through the lair again, pranking everyone.

Raph's temper and his arguing about everything. Donnie's inventions and failed experiments. He wanted someone to talk to again, his brothers. He wanted to train normally again, he wanted to laugh with them, play with them. And just be normal teenagers.

"Let me look at your leg for now" Splinter interrupted Leo's thoughts and stood up. Leo looked down on his bandaged leg and simply nodded, he couldn't bring himself to say something. He turned around and awkwardly limped over to the couch in the living room. He placed the crutches on the ground and climbed on top of the couch.

He placed himself flat on his shell and stretched his legs. Splinter carefully sat down at the end of Leo's legs and grabbed the dislocated one. Leo knew the routine already so he just squeezed his eyes shut and waited for the pain to kick in. Slowly his father began to bend his knee but surprisingly there wasn't any pain, apart from the slight sting.

For the last 4 days his father has done this every day to keep Leo's leg in a good condition, and to test if he was able to walk on it again. But it wasn't very nice to do. Splinter had to bend and push Leo's leg until it was so painful Leo was actually tearing up. But it had to be done.

"You are doing great my son" Splinter encouraged Leo as he slowly stretched his leg again. Leo hissed slightly and grabbed the couch underneath him. Carefully Splinter began to apply pressure to his leg again by pushing it upwards. Leo hissed again as more pressure was applied to his leg.

It was all so familiar, but at the same time it wasn't. He felt like every day the pain became less but it kept hurting. More pressure was enforced on is leg and Leo winced slightly, it was starting to sting slightly but he wasn't going to say anything, he wanted to be walking as soon as possible.

"Auw" He eventually winced when the pain became too much and Splinter immediately loosened the pressure on his leg, gently placing it on the couch again. Leo groaned and pushed himself up.

"You did great my son, your leg is healing fine" Splinter encouraged him and patted his shell slightly. Leo swung his legs over the edge of the bed but made no effort of standing up. He bit his lip slightly and looked to the ground nervously.

"Sensei?" He whispered and looked up to his father. "Do you…. do you really think they will be okay?" How much he hated it, tears were forming in his eyes. He hated it, he hated the fact he was going to cry but he couldn't stop it. He couldn't bear the thought of his brothers dying, or never waking up.

"I have faith in them Leonardo, do not lose hope" The mutant rat responded and drew his oldest son closer to himself. Leo sniffled slightly and pressed his head against his father. And only then he allowed the tears to fall freely.

"What if they never wake up? I-I can't lose them." Leo whispered and wiped away the tears that were rolling over his face. "I can't stand s-seeing them like this. They're so…. It's like they're d-dead" Leo sobbed and continuously wiped away his tears.

Splinter said nothing as guilt struck him. It pained him to hear what his oldest son thought. His actions, all because what he had done. He was the reason his oldest was crying, and he was the reason his 3 youngest were unconscious, and were hurt. The aching feeling in his heart returned and he quickly wiped away a tear from his own eyes.

"Dad?" Leo whispered when he noticed that his father's shoulders were shaking slightly. His father looked him in the eyes with confusion. It had be so long Leo had called him dad, it was always sensei or Master Splinter.

"It isn't your fault" Leo tried to soothe his father and wrapped his arms around his father's body. Sensei's face flushed and he placed his head on top of his son's head. Leo buried his face in his father's fur and cried his heart out. And for the first time Splinter allowed his own tears to stream too.

It was his fault his son was acting like this, that he was crying. It was his fault his sons were hurt, unconscious and fighting for their lives. It was all his fault. And no matter how many times his son told him different, it was still his body who hurt his sons. It was his sword that pierced Donatello.

His sword that stabbed Raphael's shoulder, and his hands that dropped Michelangelo. And his fault they might never wake up.

**TMNT**

Silently he groaned. Everything was hurting, everything was sore. His body was stinging and his head was throbbing. He tried to move but found he couldn't, he couldn't move anything and it scared him. He could hear the familiar sound of a heart machine, the continuous beeps.

His throat felt like sand paper and he could feel something pushed down his throat, a tube. He felt so weird. It was like he was stuck in his body, but at the same time he wasn't. He could feel wires sticking out of his body, and he hated them already. They were stinging and itching. But he knew that they kept him alive.

He wanted to open his eyes, he wanted to move again. To find out what happened and how he got here. Or where he even was. But he couldn't. he was too tired and his body kept refusing. Slowly he drifted off, and darkness overtook him again.

**TMNT **

Slightly anti-climax. But yay, one is waking up :D


	6. Chapter 6

The lair hasn't changed a single bit from the previous night. The same dead feeling hang in the air and the same silence echoed through the lair. It was like the whole lair was abandoned and they had just left without saying anything, but April knew better.

She knew that behind the lab doors her friends were, her family. Unconscious, hurt and fighting to stay alive. Only machines keeping them on earth. And the lair was so dark and so silent she almost missed the two figures on the couch. And despite the situation the corners of her mouth slowly went into a smile.

Master Splinter was lying on the couch, one hand was on top of his stomach and his head was turned towards Leo. Who was curled up against the warm fur of his father. His head buried deep inside of his hold. Splinter's free arm was wrapped around the sleeping mutant and was drawing him closer to his body.

Carefully not to wake them she tip-toed towards them to watch them up close. Leo's closed eyes were slightly swollen, indicating he had been crying, and what confused her was that Splinter's eyes were slightly red too. She smiled and shook her head. She shouldn't be staring at them like this.

She forced herself to look away and quietly tip-toed to the other side of the living room to fetch some blankets. They were exhausted, she knew they were. And it pained her to know why. It was because of her friends, Leo's brothers, Sensei's sons. It was because of them they were exhausted.

They were pushing themselves beyond their limit and them passing out was inevitable. But it made her smile to see them like this. And in times like these they really showed the love for each other. She couldn't help herself but to smile when she carefully placed the blanket on top of them.

Leo stirred slightly in his sleep but didn't wake up. And it didn't surprise her to see Sensei did. She simply smiled to him and repositioned the blanket on top of them. Splinter's eyes went from April to Leo before mouthing a thank you.

April's smile grew bigger and she nodded to him before his eyes closed again. He pulled Leo closer to him before dozing off again. April shook her head slightly and turned towards the lab. She couldn't stand them seeing them like this, unconscious and hurt but she forced herself to go.

Leo and Sensei were hurting so she couldn't stop now because she was afraid to see them. And she had no idea where the fear came from. She had seen them when they were hurt and bleeding. She had stitched Raph's wound, she had calmed Leo when Sensei set his leg back. She held him down while he tried everything to get out of her grip. She had heard the popping of Mikey's knees.

So she had no idea where the fear came from. And maybe it was just denial. She wanted to picture them alive, and not unconscious like they were now. She wanted her family back, the family which used to cheer her up, the family she loved.

She took a deep breath and forced herself to walk towards the lab. She quietly looked back at Leo and sensei sleeping on the couch and pushed the door of the lab open. She was greeted by the familiar sight of her unconscious friends and she swallowed heavily.

"Hey guys" She whispered and went over to Mikey's bed first. As expecting he hadn't moved. "How are you doing Mikey?" She said. She picked up his left arm and slowly began to massage it. She had read a lot on the internet about coma patients suffer from bed sores, and how dangerous they could be, so she would do anything to prevent that.

Carefully she began to stretch both of his arms back and forth to get some movement going on. And she had hoped so badly he would react to her touches, anything, but just as the last days he didn't. He just stayed unmoving. She sighed and removed his blanket that revealed his legs.

She whimpered slightly when she saw the damage done to his knees. They were wrapped up with bandages, and on top of that a complicated knee-brace. The skin around the knees were still swollen but it was less than before. She couldn't move his knees but that wasn't stopping her from moving his legs and ankles.

So she carefully took Mikey's right leg and began to move it in different directions to get some movement in his legs. After she was done with both legs she placed the blanket on his body again and rubbed his arms slightly, trying to warm him up.

"That's all I can do for you Mikey, I'm sorry" April cracked and wiped away some tears. She bit his lip slightly and turned around, walking towards Donnie's bed. And just as Mikey he was still unmoving. Just like they had all been the last 4 days. 4 days without moving, eating, talking, walking, just nothing. All but silence.

"Why won't you wake up Donnie?" April whispered and stroke his forehead slightly. He looked so pale and vulnerable without his mask. His mouth was, just like his brothers, partly open so a tube could be pushed down his throat, because they obviously couldn't breathe on their own.

"Leo and Sensei can't handle you like this Donnie, they want you awake, all of you. They need you." April whispered as she gently grabbed Donnie's left arm, stretching and bending it carefully. She could feel the heart pumping beneath her finger and it was, apart from the heart machine, the only thing that told her he was alive.

She carefully worked through Donnie's regular exercises, being careful not to hurt his hips and covered him with the blanket again. She was about to turn towards Raph to start on his exercises when a slight groan filled the lab. Her eyes widened and she stood frozen in place for a few seconds.

Another groan filled the lair, followed by the moving of Mikey's bed. April swallowed heavily and ran towards Mikey's bed. The young mutant's head was to the side and his chest was heaving. His eyes were focused on the tube in his mouth and his hands were twitching.

"Mikey, I can't believe you're awake!" April cried out and ran over to Mikey, taking his twitching hand in her own hand. Mikey's eyes focused on April and he began to blink rapidly. His mouth continued to open and close, humming sounds escaping his throat.

"I know you can't talk right now, I'm going to get Leo and sensei and they will get it out okay?" April whispered and stroke Mikey's forehead slightly. His baby blue eyes were wide with fear and his hands was enclosed around April's hand, refusing to let go.

April carefully freed herself from the weak grip and ran outside of the lab. Sensei and Leo were still peacefully awake but she didn't mind and just stormed towards them. She quickly pulled off the blanket and shook Leo's shoulder heavily in an attempt to wake him up.

"April…?!" Leo cried out and rubbed his eyes slightly, trying to get a clear vision. Even Master Splinter was slightly disorientated but April paid no attention to their discomfort.

"Mikey is awake!" April exclaimed and grabbed Leo's arm, dragging him off the couch. Leo stumbled slightly on his dislocated leg but his eyes widened when he heard April's statement. Mikey was awake. His little brother was actually awake. And even Splinter lost his calm self and began to run towards the lab.

"My son!" Splinter cried out when he saw that Mikey was actually awake. His eyes were still wide with fear and tears were streaming down his face. His hands were twitching and moving in every way they could.

Mikey's eyes landed on his father and more tears began to stream down his cheeks, his hands reached for the breathing tube but he was smarter than to pull it out himself.

"Do not fret, we will take it out" Splinter soothed his son when he noticed his discomfort and grabbed Mikey's hand. Leo came to Mikey's side seconds after that, ignoring the throbbing feeling after using his dislocated leg. He too had tears, but from joy, he was so happy to see Mikey awake. So happy his brother had woken up.

"Mikey" He just whispered silently and grabbed Mikey's free hand and brought it to his cheek. Mikey eyes were still wide with fear and was desperately signing downwards, trying to get them to understand. "You have been hurt Mikey, badly. So please don't move your legs" Leo explained when he noticed Mikey's eyes.

After that statement only more tears came in Mikey's eyes and he began to breathe hysterically again. Splinter placed Mikey's hand on the bed so he could focus on removing the breathing tube.

"Don't worry Mikey, you'll be fine" Leo assured his little brother and stroke his forehead again but Mikey continued to cry, still trying to say anything to get them to understand, they didn't listen, they wouldn't listen to him.

"Alright my son, I am going to remove the breathing tube, it will be easier if you cough" Splinter informed his son and grabbed the tube with both hands. Mikey's eyes were still wide as he did as his father told him. More tears made their way down his cheeks when the tube was removed from his throat.

Only after a few minutes the tube was finally removed from his throat. Mikey sank back on his bed in exhaustion, mouth still open and wincing at the roughness of his throat.

"Don't speak yet Mikey, you can hurt your throat" Leo said to his little brother but Mikey just threw his head from side to side. More tears were making their way down his cheeks and his hands were twitching badly as he opened his mouth.

"I-I can't….." He rasped, ignoring Leo's instructions and just burst down into more tears. Leo frowned and brought Mikey's hand closer to himself, trying to assure him but Mikey wasn't calming down and just continued to trash. He began to glance down again and again before his eyes focused on Leo again. Tears streaming down his face.

"W-Why can't i-I f-feel my l-legs?"


	7. Chapter 7

Splinter sighed heavily and bowed his head again. His youngest son had woken up 5 hours ago. And that was probably the happiest thing he had ever experienced. The eyes of his son staring towards him, knowing that Michelangelo would live. He would live, his youngest son would live.

And he was just so grateful for that, but he wasn't unharmed. They already knew that his knees were damaged, badly. But when he had confessed he had no feeling in his legs, the world seemed to collapse around him.

He still remember how his son had reacted, he was hysterical, terrified and completely out of his mind. And the thing was, Splinter understood why his son was reacting like this. He had just woken up, completely disorientated and drained because of his coma, and just like that he found out he had no feeling anymore.

Eventually they calmed down Mikey and he just lay there. He didn't do anything and just stared blankly ahead. Silently crying while Splinter, Leo and April did their best to comfort Mikey and try to determine the damage in his legs. But of course none were medicals like Donnie.

They soon found out his handicap wasn't permanent, the damage done to his knees was less than with his second oldest son Raphael, but his knees were still damaged. And they would heal in time, and with patience.

His legs were another story, even though he couldn't move his legs, or feel them, he still had feeling in his toes. Which meant the nerves weren't completely shattered, and there was a change he could regain the feeling over his legs again.

_Mikey grunted slightly when Leo grabbed his leg firmly and whimpered. He couldn't feel it, how much he wanted to he couldn't feel anything. The usual feeling you would get when someone would touch your leg, the usual feeling when you would stretch your muscle. It wasn't there. There was nothing._

_There was nothing apart from emptiness, coldness. He could feel his blood streaming through his body, but it stopped at his legs, it seemed like it just stopped right there. Of course he knew this wasn't the case, but he couldn't feel anything. He couldn't move his legs, or feel them at all. _

_"Can't you feel anything?" Leo tried again and applied pressure on his upper leg. Mikey whimpered again and closed his eyes. He concentrated so hard. To feel something, anything apart from the emptiness. But there was nothing, nothing but coldness, emptiness. _

_He felt his body shaking as tears filled his eyes. He couldn't feel them, after all these years having used his legs, felt them, touched them, heard them. He couldn't feel them. And it was all his father's fault. His eyes widened at the comment. No he couldn't think like that. _

_"No" He whimpered and desperately shook his head. Father loved him, he would never hurt him. But the fact was, he did. He was the one to throw him off the platform, he was the cause of his knees dislocating, the pain that ripped through his body, the white pain spreading through him. _

_"I am so sorry Mikey" Leo whispered and placed Mikey's leg slowly on the bed again. Mikey gasped as a small tingling feeling formed in his toe. _

_"L-Leo… I feel something" Mikey stuttered, concentrating again on his toe. He looked up to Leo, hope suddenly appearing. "That m-means something, right?" He stuttered and tried his toe again, to do anything, but he couldn't move it. _

_Leo bit his lip slightly and grabbed Mikey's toe, pinching it slightly. Mikey whimpered when a faint feeling filled his mind. He felt it, he could feel it. Very weak but it was there. There wasn't any happiness on Leo's face as he looked towards Mikey. _

_"I honestly don't know Mikey" Leo whispered and grabbed Mikey's hand, slowly stroking it but Mikey's eyes were fixed on his toes. _

_"But I can feel them, t-that means I'll… that I'll g-get my feeling back. R-right?" He cut in and tried to wiggle his toes, something that shouldn't be hard for him, but he couldn't do it. They wouldn't move. Tears appeared in his eyes. "I-I can f-feel them. W-why can't I m-move them…?" _

That was the last thing they had heard from his youngest son. After that he had refused to speak to anyone about anything. He silently looked up to Mikey's bed but soon found it hadn't changed. He was still greeted by his son's shell, twisted into an awkward angle since he couldn't move his legs. And the only difference were his shoulders.

At first they were shaking, crying but over the hours that had slowly subsided. He knew his son was still alive. The breaths escaping his throat were heavy and full. Indicating he was still trapped in his horrible nightmare. He knew his son was thinking that way, a living nightmare. And it was his fault he thought like that. His fault.

Michelangelo hadn't even reacted when they told him what happened afterwards, after he and Raph were buried with the bricks and stones. How April had come to help them, how he was out for 4 days, and how he was the first one of his brothers to awake from the coma.

"I am going to check on your brothers for a bit" Splinter informed his youngest son and placed a hand on his shoulder before leaving him. And the only response Mikey gave him was a simple shrug. He first went to see Raphael. Carefully peeling the blanket off his body. The fever that had haunted him for days had only decreased slightly but was still plaguing him.

His cheeks were just as red as his mask, if he had worn one, and sweat was trickling down his forehead. And the tube pushed down his throat made him look even more vulnerable.

His strongest and most stubborn son and right now he was just helplessly lying in his bed, and still, it was his fault. Just like with Michelangelo, just like Donatello. It was his fault Raph's arm was infected and he was haunted by this fever. His dislocated and broken elbow. The nauseating cracks, all his fault.

He looked at the horrifying wound on Raph's shoulder but found it was less than yesterday. The swelling had decreased slightly and it was slightly less red. But the change was minimum. And he wasn't even close to recovering.

Splinter bit back a tear and placed his hand on Raph's forehead, humming a quick Japanese lullaby. Praying for his sons to wake up and recover, but he knew it was up to them. Splinter sighed and walked over to his second youngest son, Donatello.

The soft beep of his heart monitor greeted him, instantly telling him his son was still alive. He said nothing and just silently walked over to Donatello. Carefully stroking his mask-less face. The gap between his teeth was clearly visible in the bright light and he couldn't help himself but to chuckle at all the memories.

He smiled slightly when he saw Donatello's vital were getting stronger and stronger each day. A sign he was getting better, but the thing was, it didn't mean he was going to wake up. He sighed again, that was all he could do for now. He turned around and went over to his youngest again.

But when he came there he found that Mikey's eyes were closed, but his breathing was soft and steady, indicating he was finally asleep. A small smile crept along Splinter's face and he placed a hand on his forehead, just like he did with Raphael and sang the same lullaby.

"I will be back soon my son" Splinter assured his son and planted a quick kiss on his temple before leaving the room. He was so caught up in his thought that he didn't hear the small voice of his second youngest son.

His small and shivering hand extended to reach his father, but without success and he was hopelessly watching how his father left the room, leaving him alone. The raspy voice filling the room, barely above a whisper and so weak and vulnerable.

"D-Dad…."


	8. Chapter 8

The first thing he knew was the stabbing pain his side. He knew his family was around him somewhere, he could hear someone walking around the room, or wherever he was, but he was too tired to open his eyes. A stinging pain was hitting him every second, and every time on the same place, in his sides.

He tried to open his eyes, move anything or make a sound. Anything that would tell them he was awake. But he couldn't. His body was refusing every command. Every move he wanted to make, he just couldn't. His body wouldn't respond.

He found himself totally useless on the bed, unable to respond to the sounds around, unable to see what was happening, not being able to talk to his family, ask if they were okay, if sensei was okay.

The last thing he could remember was how the sword jabbed through his hips. The dead eyes of his father as he held the sword. Blood dripping from the two holes in his hips, and his father didn't even hesitate. He just threw him off, against the wall. And from that moment everything went black.

He could recall voices, noises, touches but he soon found himself drifting out of consciousness. He knew he was hurt, but at the moment he could only feel the warmth around, welcoming him, calling for him.

He wanted nothing more than to open his e yes, to make sure his family was okay, that they weren't hurt, or in the worst case dead. He wanted to know if his father was 'free' again, that he wasn't controlled by the rat king anymore.

Slowly he became more aware of his surroundings. The familiar smell that always lingered around his lab, the heart machines. The itchy feeling in his arms from the needles, his raw and painful throat from the tube.

"I will be right back my son" The voice of his father beamed through the lab. Donnie felt himself twitching as he heard that voice. It meant he was fine, that he was okay. But he still feared for his family. He had no idea what happened to them in the time he was out. They could be dead, or in coma, hurt.

He felt his fingers twitch slightly at the thought. He had to make sure they were okay, he had to make sure his father was okay, Mikey, Leo and Raph. He felt himself drifting more and more into conscious, and every second the pain became heavier. More intense. He cringed slightly as he began to shake. Pain literally ripping him apart.

He wanted to scream, beg for someone to knock him out again, give him something but he couldn't. He couldn't move anything, let alone speak. Pain stabbed him over and over again and he felt tears pricking in his eyes.

He winced slightly as he opened his eyes. He wanted to scream so badly. Begging for the pain to stop but the only thing he could do was lie around, waiting for the pain to subside. But it never did. The pain stayed and his vision was blurry.

His heart skipped a beat when he saw the familiar figure in front of him. He was okay. His father was okay and back to normal again. But he wasn't acknowledging him. Something was wrong, his face was in a frown and he was crying.

He groaned slightly as he tried to move, every inch sent stabbing pain throughout his body but he continued. He had to know if they were okay, if father was okay. Slowly his arm twitched slightly and he extended it. His arm was shaking but he bit his lip. He had to, he had to know.

"D-Dad" He rasped but it was barely above a whisper before his father left the infirmary. He felt his heart beating painfully as he dropped his arm on the bed. He gasped as hot pain pounded right through his arm. He let out a small cry of pain which was muffled by the breathing tube and he was left there, gasping for air.

Trying everything he could to get away from the horrible pain that ripped through his body. Everything was hurting. Every part of his body was sore.

"D-Donnie?" A low voice filled the lair. Donnie almost chocked on a sob when he heard the voice of his little brother. Someone knew he was awake, but Mikey never came to his side. Donnie moaned slightly but couldn't bring himself to say anything. Pain was still ripping through his body, sending waves of pain every second.

"Are y-you… really awake?" This time it was Mikey who chocked on a sob, even though Donnie couldn't see him, and he had no idea why. He had no idea why Mikey wasn't coming to see him. Donnie merely moaned in response, hoping his little brother would understand it.

"I'm glad you're awake. I missed you so much." He could hear Mikey whisper from the other side. His voice was still heavy and raspy but he other than that he sounded okay. He just hoped Leo and Raph were fine too. And the fact that Mikey hadn't come to see him worried him a lot.

He gasped as another wave of pain hit him, leaving his head pounding and his eyes filled with tears. On the other side he could hear his little brother couching and moving around in his bed, but something sounded off.

The bed was cracking slightly and then there was a loud thump, like a body had fallen down. Donnie tried to move again but again he couldn't. How much he wanted to, he couldn't. he still couldn't move anything as pain ripped through his body every second. Even the slightest twitch send agonizing pain through his body.

Suddenly Mikey cursed on the other side of the curtain. Donnie frowned slightly, Mikey never cursed, ever in his life. But the cursing was soon replaced by a sobbing sound. Mikey's breaths came out in short gasps as wet tears made their way down his cheeks.

"M… Mi…" Donnie slurred but winced and stopped immediately. Even that little word brought tears in his eyes. And his throat began to trickle heavily, He wanted to know what was going on. He didn't understand it. Why he was in the infirmary, what happened. Why Mikey wasn't coming for him, and where the rest of his family was.

Another chocked cry came from Mikey's mouth. "Sensei" He rasped as hard as he could, wincing at the rawness of his throat.

"Mik… ey" Donnie rasped and tried to push himself up but his arms were trembling as he strained them. Even that little movement was impossible for him. Even that little movement sent pain waves through his whole body.

"I- I can't Donnie… " Mikey cried from the other side. "S-sensei, Leo!" He rasped, harder this time before going into a couching fit. Donnie bit his lip and tried to get up but was stopped when hot white pain spread through his body.

More intense than the last time, more agonizing and more torturing. Black spots were appearing in front of his eyes, he fell back on the bed and the last thing Donnie remembered was the lab door being opened, before he lost consciousness and was surrounded by darkness.

**I"m evil right? ^^ **

**Well 2 down, 1 to go :D**


	9. Chapter 9

Having seen Mikey's baby blue eyes for the first time in 4 days was something that couldn't be explained. The joy and relief that was rushing through her body was something that she had never experienced before. So many hours she had been crying about her mutant friends, so many times she had seen what it did to Leo and Sensei, and seeing at least one of them awake, filled her with so much joy.

The mood in the lair had changed so much, everyone was more laid back, more relaxed. But the tension throughout the lair was still so thick, which only emphasized how much they had suffered these past days.

Beneath her the young mutant moaned slightly and curled up somewhat more. April chuckled slightly and patted Leo's head awkwardly. After they had told Mikey what happened, and he rejected them in a way, they left. Sensei told them he would watch Michelangelo, and no one complained. April knew Sensei needed time with his son. And Leo was at his end.

He was swaying on his legs, not only from the pain that still lingered in his leg but also from the tiredness that overcame him. Despite the nap he had been having with Sensei he was still tired. He had been straining himself all these days, all the days without his brother and living in uncertainty. The same feeling she had when her dad was captured.

The feeling of not knowing when or if she would see her father again. She had no idea if her father would ever return to her, or if he was still alive. But this was worse. They were so close, and yet they couldn't do anything.

They could merely wait until one of them would wake up, and pray they would all wake up, not to speak of the physical damage they could have from the whole incident. Or the emotional damage that was inflicted on sensei.

Sometimes the old rat could be just as stubborn as Raph. No matter how many times they had told him it wasn't his fault, that he couldn't help it, saying him that he would never hurt them, he still blamed himself.

Again Leo mumbled something in his sleep and April smiled, stroking his face slightly. It wasn't long after they emerged from the lab, after Splinter sent them both away, Leo had collapsed on the couch. And it wasn't long after that April found the mutant sleeping, using her as a living pillow.

She hadn't mind and just repositioned herself so Leo would be more comfortable and placed a blanket on top of his body. And the thing was, Leo seemed to enjoy her as a pillow. She knew the turtles were cold-blooded, and relied on the warmth, or cold, around them.

And being part human made them more attracted to warmth, all cold-blooded animals in general. April smiled down on Leo and softly took the tails of his mask out of his face. Just as Leo began to moan slightly again Splinter got out of the lab, his face still with a mix of emotions.

He was happy for his youngest son, but at the same time he was filled with guilt, so much guilt that was constantly consuming him.

"How is he?" April piped up when the mutant rat approached her but seeing his face answered all her questions. "He's still… the same?" April whispered and sank back into the couch, careful not to wake the sleeping mutant. She had even no idea how to explain Mikey's state, denial? Hurt? Or maybe there was even guilt.

"Still nothing, I shall meditate on this matter, can you keep an eye out for my sons" Splinter informed the red haired teen and padded Leonardo's head quickly. "I see you two are quite enjoying each other's company" Splinter said and cracked a small smile before leaving the living room, going into the dojo to meditate.

April sighed and leaned back slightly, continuously stroking Leo's face. Slowly she felt the blue banded turtle beneath her stirring and mumbling in his sleep. And when she looked down she saw the pained face of Leo. A frown over his voice and twitching slightly.

"Leo" She whispered and shook him slightly, it was obvious he was having a bad dream or something. Leo groaned slightly and cracked his eyes open, blinking a few times but yawning instantly. "Hey sleeping beauty, how are you feeling?" April chuckled. Leo seemed to doubt for a second before reaching for his head and wincing.

"My head…" He protested and groaned, holding his head painfully. April's face flushed and she carefully hovered Leo's head up and placed him on a pillow, standing up herself.

"Stay here, I'll get something for you" April whispered and ran off to the kitchen. Figures he would have a headache after practically collapsing from his 'insomnia'. She quickly filled a glass with water and two painkillers for Leo.

When she walked back to the couch Leo was lying on she saw he was still there, quietly on his back and his eyes closed.

"Leo" She quietly called out and watched as Leo opened his eyes again but immediately closed them, humming something in frustration. "Come on, take this, then you can sleep." April pushed and helped Leo up by forcefully pushing his head up. Leo groaned again but eventually opened his mouth.

Quickly April pushed the pills into Leo's mouth and allowed him to drink some water. Weakly Leo drank some water and sighed in satisfaction. "Thanks" He whispered as April lowered him on the pillow again.

"That's what family is for" April grinned and placed the blanket up to Leo's chin, wrapping him in in the blankets. But Leo was too tired to notice and just curled up, his face towards April. The red-haired teen smiled and carefully reached for the knot of his bandage, easily untying it and placing it aside so he wouldn't accidently choke himself to death.

April smiled and just gave Leo a quick pad on his head before standing up.

"Sleep tight Leo" April smiled and turned around, walking towards the kitchen when a faint sound stopped her. It sounded awfully lot like Mikey. He hadn't talked in hours, refusing to believe what happened, or simply not understanding it.

And it was Mikey, but is was weak, which made sense knowing he was out for days, but it was really his voice. His voice calling out for Sensei, his father. April stepped towards the lab, there was panic in his voice. Distress and hurt.

"S-sensei, Leo" Came from the other side of the lab door. The voice sounded so defeated, so hurt and devastated. She couldn't handle hearing Mikey like that. She could feel her heart beating painfully against her chest as she pushed the door open.

The first thing she saw was Mikey. On the ground and crawling towards her, his legs helplessly behind him.

"Mikey!" April gasped and rushed to his side, quickly rolling him onto his shell. His cheeks were stained with fresh tears and his eyes were red and swollen. "What were you doing?" April whispered and bit her lip. She wasn't strong enough to lift them, there was no way she could get Mikey back on the bed. But it looked like Mikey didn't even want to.

He was constantly twitching and reaching out. "D-Donnie" He suddenly sobbed out and pushed April away, attempting to break free from her grip, but April was determined to hold on. Just as April wanted to ask what he was doing Mikey gave another push, harder this time and April couldn't hold him anymore.

With a loud thud Mikey fell forward, not fast enough to catch himself and fell flat on his face. "Mikey stop it! What is going on?!" April half yelled as she hovered Mikey's upper body up slightly, which was jerking violently in her arms, while his legs remained completely limp.

"Donnie" Mikey whispered and tried to calm himself but he kept crying. "C-Check on Donnie, please" He sobbed and tried again to push out of April's grip, but it was weaker this time. April bit her lip at the statement, she had to check on Donnie. But she couldn't just leave Mikey here on the ground, could she?

She groaned as she thought of the options but then whipped her head around, towards the open lab door. "Help!" She called out, her voice echoing through the lair. How much she wanted to check on Donnie, whatever was wrong with him she couldn't leave Mikey now. Not when he was crying so hard he was having problems breathing.

"Please calm down Mikey, just breathe" April tried to soothe Mikey and grasped his hand, slightly squeezing it. Just seconds after she had called Sensei came running in, seeing his youngest son crying in April's arms. His legs uselessly at his side.

"My son, what happened?" Sensei cried out and crouched down at Mikey's side, scooping him up carefully. Mikey opened his mouth to say something but nothing seemed to come out, only the short sobs and the hysterical breaths escaped his mouth.

"I-I don't know" April whispered as she got onto her feet and followed Sensei towards Mikey's bed. The youngest turtle was still gasping, trying to say anything to them. "I found him like this, he said I had to check…." She stopped mid-sentence as she remembered what Mikey had asked her. Without completing her sentence she ran off, towards Donnie's bed.

She had no idea what to expect when she came at his side, she had expected a life-less mutant turtle, and it was. He was still life-less, but he wasn't the same as before. His fingers were trembling a little bit, his chest heaving just like Mikey. His eyes were in a slight frown, holding the obvious pain he was in.

"Donnie" April whispered and pinched his cheek slightly. And finally she understood what had happened. Donnie had woken up, had made sounds and Mikey had responded to it. And the handicap to his legs wouldn't stop him, not from seeing his older brother.

"Come on Donnie, focus" April tried and winced slightly, it sounded so pathetic but somehow it seemed to work. Donnie's fingers twitched in her hold and he moaned slightly. Another violent twitch, followed by a pained gasp. He stirred again and April panicky looked at his hips, fearing something was wrong

Another pained moan escaped Donnie's mouth and April turned towards his face again but froze. Donnie was awake right in front of her, and for the first time in 4 days she saw Donnie's eyes again.


	10. Chapter 10

April gasped again before she hovered over Donnie's bed, wrapping her arm around his injured body and squeezing him softly, trying not to hurt him. Donnie cringed slightly within April's bear hug but didn't complain. He merely sighed and nuzzled his face in the crook of April's neck.

"I'm so happy you're awake" April mumbled in the hug and kissed Donnie on his cheek. A small smile appeared on Donnie's face but it was faint. Carefully April untangled herself from Donnie and stroke his forehead slightly, smiling towards the purple-banded turtle.

"I wanna… see him" Mikey rasped from the other side of the curtain which got Donnie's attention. His eyes widened slightly and he opened his mouth. Rasping for a few seconds, unable to produce any sound due to his raw throat and the tube that was still inserted.

"M…i.. Mik…" Donnie tried but April shut him off by placing a hand on his mouth and shook her head slightly.

"Don't talk, I'll get him" She assured the injured mutant and placed the blanket up to his chest again, wrapping him up slightly so he wouldn't get too cold. Donnie merely nodded slightly and smiled towards April, signaling he understood.

April smiled back and was about to turn around when Master Splinter joined Donnie's side, in his arms was Mikey. They both had tears in their eyes as they looked over to Donnie. And Donnie started to tear up himself too.

"Donnie" Mikey cracked and tried to reach his older brother but Splinter held him close, unable to move. Just staring at his son's eyes. Finally after all those days he was awoke. Raph still wasn't awake but two of his sons were, and he was just so grateful for that.

It was until Donnie tried to move his fragile hand Sensei knew how to move again. With slow steps he walked over to his son's bed. Tears were falling down, staining his fur but he didn't mind. The only thing he could concentrate on was his son, awake and smiling towards him. The beautiful eyes of his son he had missed so dearly these passed days.

"My son, how are you feeling?" Sensei asked, trying to hide a shiver in his own voice. He reached down and sat Mikey down on the edge of the bed, being careful not to tangle his legs over the edge so he would fall down. Immediately Mikey crawled over to his big brother and nuzzled against his side. Burying his face in Donnie's hold.

"I… d-don't.. un-… under…stand" Donnie rasped as he looked from April to Sensei but wrapped his arm around his little brother anyways. Sensei sighed and placed a hand on his son, carefully sitting down on the edge, trying not to hurt his son in any way.

"You have been out for a while" He started. Donnie frowned slightly upon the statement and tried to rasp something but failed miserably. "You have been in a coma for 4 days after…." He stopped mid-sentence when the horrific memory overcame him again. Even if he had no control, he could still see everything what happened.

Every droplet of blood that was shed, every injury he inflicted to their sons. Their shocked expressions, despair, hurt, betrayal. He could still see all of it, and he could do nothing about it.

"The rat king took over his mind, do you remember that?" April whispered, helping Sensei out. Donnie seemed to think for a moment but then shook his head slightly. "He didn't only hurt you, but also Mikey and Raph. You have been out for 4 days. Mikey woke up just a few hours ago but…" April stopped for a second and looked over to her Sensei.

As expected he sat there with a pained expression on his face. His hands were wrapped around Donnie's hand, his eyes facing downwards. Unable to look into his eyes. A tear formed in the corner of Donnie's eye as he looked over to his little brother, something was wrong.

They wouldn't tell him what but he knew something as very wrong. He could tell by the saddened expression of his little brother, the odd behavior just minutes ago, before April came in.

"Raph is still in a coma and Mikey's legs are paralyzed" April said after a few seconds of silence. It felt like time stopped around him. Raph was in a coma, probably never waking up and his little brother was paralyzed, his legs were. Donnie closed his eyes and squeezed a tear through.

His shoulders began to shook slightly and pain hit him again. A sob escaped his sound and his face crunched with pain that started in his hips. Everyone around him was still alarmed.

"My son, are you in pain?" His father sounded so alarmed, so distressed. Something he rarely saw, or heard from his father. He was always hiding his emotions, always calm around them but right now he was freaking out. Donnie whimpered slightly, unable to answer properly.

"I will increase the pain medication" April said and did as she promised while Splinter started to tug his son in. Donnie hummed in satisfaction when the pain medication increased and the pain turned into a gentle throb.

"Sleep my son, heal your spirit" Splinter spoke to him as he picked up Mikey, since he wasn't able to walk himself. He sighed defeated as he wiggled slightly in Splinter's hold, still not comfortable with being carried everywhere.

"I'll be back D, I promise" Mikey whispered and gave him a faint smile but Donnie was too tired to return and just dropped his head to the right, his eyes closed. April sighed and stroked Donnie's head slightly before sitting down on a chair, continuously holding his hand.

Sensei nodded to her before walking out of the infirmary with Mikey. After that stunt Mikey pulled earlier it would be better if Mikey would be watched, and not having to rely on machines anymore made it possible to move him to the living room. Which would be better for any possible relapses from Donatello.

April sighed as she watched to Donnie, he seemed so peaceful, like he wasn't in pain or anything, and April knew he wasn't. But what saddened her was the fact how much pain medication Donnie needed to sleep at all, and there was no way she could ever imagine the pain Donnie was going through right now.

Both physical and emotional. He just woke up, in pain and disorientated. And the first thing he heard was his little brother reaching out for him, he never saw him, only heard the rasps coming from him. He couldn't move, neither of them, while he was in constant pain and completely disorientated.

No idea what has happened or what was going on. And just like that everything was told to him. His older brother being in a coma, Mikey's legs being paralyzed, and the fact that his father hurt him. April just hoped Donnie wouldn't blame him. Mikey didn't and Raph wasn't even awake yet. But she didn't know about Donnie either. He never said he didn't.

Mikey had said it, that he didn't blame his father, but Donnie never got the change, and never tried to assure his father after he heard it. April dropped Donnie's hand and climbed on top of the bed, carefully curling up against his side, trying not to touch him, or to hurt his wounds.

"Don't blame him Donnie, it wasn't his fault" April whispered in his ear, trying to reach him in his sleep. But she knew her actions were in vain, and Donnie had to decide for himself. She just hoped Donnie wouldn't blame his father, he wouldn't be able to handle it, neither of them.

**He won't blame his father, right….? **


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry for the late update, all of my stories, but i had been busy lately with school, hockey and stuff. too much homework and i had to prepare a lot for the indoor field hockey competition, selections and training. But here it is, so enjoy ^^ **

Days had passed since the accident, minutes turned into hours, hours into days. It had been 1 week since the attack, 3 days after Mikey and Donnie had woken up. April had a school trip the last 3 days, and ever since April had left it had been quiet in the lair, too quiet.

Leo grew more uncertain every day. He was the only one of his brothers not to be hurt, badly at least. His leg still wasn't fully healed, but he could walk around at least, but the uncertainty was eating him. Every day and every night he lived with it, suffered.

Sensei consumed himself with guilt. He couldn't stand seeing his sons like that. Leo desperately trying to hold his family together, Michelangelo sulking about his handicap, Donatello barely conscious. It was all too much for him.

He couldn't get the image out of his head, the blood of his sons, the sword in Donatello's hips. The shocked expression of him and the yells of pain he had given. Raph's painful grunts when he mangled his arm. He could still recall every grunt, every yelp, every sign of pain. Every wound he inflicted on his sons' bodies.

The sickening crack of his elbow being broken, the scream of Michelangelo, the icy scream that tore from his throat when he dropped him on his knees. The shocked expression of his youngest. The protests when they were engulfed by the bricks, because of him.

The pleads of his oldest son, the distressed look on his face, the uncertainty he had inflicted on him. Everything began to bottle up, until he locked himself up in the dojo every hour of the day. He couldn't stand the thought, the thought he had hurt his sons badly this time.

Mikey became more withdrawn every day, in a way. He had accepted his legs, they were paralyzed and he had to live with that, no matter how hard Leo tried to convince him he could regain his movement eventually, hence he still had feeling in his toes.

But Mikey refused to believe this and just tried to move on, and he had accepted it but at nights he was crying his heart out. All the frustration he was feeling came out at night, wet tears staining his pillow. He didn't want anyone to know about it, they already had enough problems.

He knew Sensei was filled with guilt, no matter how much he told him not to. Raph wasn't even awake yet, Donnie was still in constant pain and drifting between unconsciousness and consciousness, Leo was constantly worrying about his brothers. They couldn't worry more about his stupid problem.

Raph hasn't woken up yet, even after a whole week he was still unconscious, and his condition could still worsen. The fever that had plagued him over the week, due to the infection in his arm, had finally gone down slightly, but was still haunting him.

Donnie wasn't doing much better, he was constantly sleeping, and when he wasn't he was just barely on the edge consciousness. The tube had been taken out a day after he had woken up but he hadn't talked after that, being asleep most of the time and the constant pain he was in.

Over the days he managed to stay conscious long enough. He was happy to talk with Leo, or Mikey, but he refused to talk to sensei, he would always turn away when his father entered. He would always pretend to sleep when he felt his father entering. And they soon realized, Donnie indeed blamed his father for what has happened.

**TMNT**

"Donnie?" The purple banded eyes shot up upon hearing his name. The door was half opened and April stood in front of the door, smiling hesitantly to him. "Can I come in?" She whispered and opened the door somewhat more. A small smile lingered on Donnie's lips.

"Yeah" He rasped, his voice still wasn't used to talking, mostly because he refused to. "I thought you were… on a school trip" He continued, swallowing heavily. It hurt his throat to talk too much. April smiled and handed him a glass of water, knowing Donnie would be thirsty.

"I was but I got back just 30 minutes ago, took my aunt some time to let me go again" April explained as she carefully lifted Donnie's head and placed the glass on his lips. Donnie grunted slightly at the painful position but gratefully swallowed the cold liquid.

"Thanks" Donnie whispered as April lowered him on the bed again. "I'm glad you're back" Donnie grinned and winced slightly as another wave of pain hit him, even after all the sleep, and all the pain medication he still experienced some pain every now and then.

"Me too, the lair looks like a cemetery" She joked but as Donnie's eyes filled with tears she knew she said something wrong. "Donnie I'm sorry, I didn't mean to" April said, guilt lingering in her voice. She never meant to hurt him like that.

She knew how her mutant friends were dealing with the whole incident, she saw Sensei sulking over it, she saw Leo consuming himself, she saw the aftermath of Mikey's discovery, she saw how much pain Donnie was in, and the pain they all felt every day Raph didn't woke up.

"It's okay" Donnie mumbled and turned his head to the right. "Can I just be alone for now?" A single tear rolled down his cheek and he squeezed his eyes shut. April watched but didn't leave his side, she wouldn't do that, not now.

"I'm not going anywhere Donnie, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to" April tried and pushed against Donnie's cheek carefully, forcing him to look into her eyes. "Talk to me Donnie, let me help please" April whispered and wiped away the fresh tears, trying to soothe him.

"There's nothing to talk about, you already know what happened. Sensei decided to stab me and hurt my brothers, that's what happened" Donnie rasped and tried to turn his head to the side again but April wouldn't allow him.

"You blame him right?" April asked, staring right into his eyes. Donnie looked away nervously but then faintly nodded. "Why Donnie..? You know he couldn't help it" April tried but Donnie shook his head.

"No April, he still hurt us okay?" He frowned slightly as he tried to lift himself up. "He could've snapped out of it but he was too weak to do so, and that's why Raph's still in a coma right now!" April flinched slightly upon the harsh words of Donnie.

"Donnie you know he would never hurt you guys, he loves you all" April tried to convince Donnie but the harsh eyes of him made her back down slightly.

"You don't get it April, I don't care if he hurt me, I will recover at least but he hurt my brothers. It's because of him Mikey can't feel his legs, he forced Raph into a coma, and Leo lives with constant uncertainty, and that is something I can never forgive him!" He spat out.

"Donnie, Raph will wake up, you know he's too pigheaded not too, and Mikey still has feeling in his toes, I'm sure he will recover and once you're healed too everything will be back to normal." April said and tried to reach for Donnie but he gently pushed her away, and dropped his head to the side.

"I just want to be alone, I don't want to talk about it" Donnie whispered. April sighed in defeat and stood up.

"Sleep tight Donnie" She whispered to him and pulled the blanket up to his face. Unaware of the mutant rat standing outside the lab, having heard everything Donnie had said.


	12. Chapter 12

**In case you haven't noticed, I'm not a qualified doctor, so there is a very, very large change of medical mistakes. **

Leo sighed and rubbed his eyes slightly. It was late at night but Mikey was still watching television so Leo had no other choice than to stay too. Sure he wasn't forced to stay at Mikey's side but he wanted to. With everything his little brother was going through it was better if he would be there.

Carefully Leo glanced to the right, watching Mikey closely. He was lying flat on his shell, his head dropped to the side and watching television. His face was in a faint smile and he was just staring at the television, not really taking it in.

His legs were carelessly on the couch, unmoving and Leo had caught Mikey several times, glancing over to his own unresponsive legs. Hoping to get something out of them, a reaction, a movement. Just anything that would say they weren't completely paralyzed. But the only thing he managed to move were his toes.

And it saddened Leo to see his little brother like that, so depressed and sad. Mikey should be bouncing through the lair, making stupid jokes and just annoying anyone. But everything had been messed up the last week.

Raph wasn't here to argue with him, argue about stupid things and teasing him about captain Ryan. Donnie wasn't working in his lab, constantly blowing everything up and just talking non-stop about new inventions and things nobody understood.

Mikey wasn't joking and pranking them anymore, the lair was just empty without his laughter. And Sensei was in his room the whole time, sulking about what he had done. And it only worsened with the day. Usually he would come out sometimes, just walking around the lair, having short chats with them.

But right now he hadn't seen his father for hours. He had missed the mere dinner April had cooked for them, missed his favorite television show, just locked himself up. And Leo knew why he did it. He was blaming himself, and it didn't matter how many times they had told him not to, he continued to blame himself.

Leo was snapped out of his thoughts by a familiar voice. "Leo..?" The blue banded turtle looked up to his little brother. His baby blue eyes were looking down and a faint blush appeared on his cheeks. "Can you… carry me back?" He asked ashamed and annoyed at the same time.

"Of course Mikey, you should get some rest" Leo said gently and stood up, walking over to the couch Mikey was lying on. Since his legs were paralyzed he couldn't walk on them so he had to ask Leo or sensei to carry him everywhere.

April found a wheelchair he could use but he couldn't even get on the wheelchair himself so they had decided they would just carry Mikey around the lair. Leo easily hovered Mikey up and cradled him close to his plastron.

The way to Mikey's room was awfully quiet but Leo just ignored it. Leo awkwardly opened Mikey's door and placed Mikey on his bed, placing him in a sitting position. He kneeled in front of his little brother and was ready to remove his kneepad when Mikey pushed his hand away.

"I can do it myself, I'm not helpless" Mikey said and bowed forwards, supporting his body with his left hand and trying to undo his kneepad with his other hand. Leo sighed and sat next to Mikey on the bed. He knew better than to force Mikey with something like this.

"You don't have to prove anything Mikey, I can help you" Leo whispered and looked to Mikey's face. The freckled turtle had a frown on his face and had gritted his teeth in annoyance, still messing with his kneepad.

"No I have to do this, you can't help me forever" Mikey breathed out and moved his left arm to the knee pad too, only to collapse immediately under the sudden weight. Ever since his legs were out of use they had all noticed Mikey couldn't hold himself anymore.

For some reason his waist couldn't hold his full weight anymore once he would bend or bow over. April had done some research and said that was a common thing about paralyzed legs. So once Mikey had taken away his left arm, that was supporting him, he just collapsed.

Luckily Leo was just in time to catch his fallen brother and helped him up again. "I won't have to Mikey" Leo soothed and forced Mikey to lay down. Mikey gritted his teeth and closed his eyes.

"Leo you don't have to pretend, I know I won't heal. Why can't you just accept it?" Mikey whispered as the first tears escaped his eyes. Leo sighed and started to untie Mikey's first kneepad, followed by the other and carefully placing them aside.

"Mikey.." Leo started and looked over to his little brother. "You still have feeling in your toes, that is something right?" Leo continued but Mikey ignored him and just pushed himself higher on the bed with his arms, so he way lying with his head on the pillow.

"Just accept it Leo" Mikey said as his lip began to quiver slightly. He gritted his teeth and quickly took of his arm pads, throwing them carelessly on the ground. "I won't ever heal okay?" Mikey added after a few seconds and dropped his head, not even trying to hold back the tears.

"Don't ever say that" Leo exclaimed and sat down next to his little brother, taking his hand. "Listen to me Mikey, you can still feel your toes, that means the nerves aren't destroyed, they are just paralyzed." He told his little brother and released his hand.

"Stop it Leo, please" Mikey pleaded and looked his older brother in the eyes, tears staining his cheeks. "You are constantly saying it will be alright but no matter how many times you say it I can't feel them, I can't even move my legs okay?" He said and buried his face in his hands, and it wasn't long before he found himself engulfed by Leo's hug.

"I won't stop Mikey, ever. I promise you, I will get your legs back, but you have to promise you will do everything you can to get the feeling back okay?" Leo said and pulled out of the hug, watching into Mikey's eyes. His body was shaking from the sobs that escaped his throat and Leo quickly wiped away his tears.

"But how? I tried to move them but.. they won't work, I can't feel anything" Mikey whispered and looked away ashamed. "It's like they aren't even there. It's just … empty" Leo sighed and grabbed Mikey chin, forcing him to look into his eyes.

"Listen Mikey, I will not lie to you, it won't be easy but we both know it is possible, you just have to work hard and believe. I can ask April to get something to support you but in the end you have to do it yourself. Me, Sensei, April, we will all be here to support you, but you have to believe in yourself." Leo said and wiped away Mikey's tears with his thumb.

"I-I don't know Leo… but I'll try" Mikey said after a few seconds of thinking. A small smile appeared on Leo's face and Mikey smile back slightly.

"I'm sure you can do it little brother" Leo whispered and kissed Mikey's temple. Mikey giggled slightly and Leo placed the blanket over Mikey. "Sleep tight little brother" Leo whispered and turned off the lights but Mikey had already fallen asleep.

Leo grinned and shook his head. Poor little guy has been exhausting himself all these days. Being careful not to wake his little brother Leo closed the door and walked towards the dojo. He was pretty tired himself but he wanted to check on his father first.

He had been in his room for a few hours and that worried Leo. The blue banded turtle sighed slightly as he made his way over to the dojo. Never it had been so quiet in the lair, there were always people walking around the lair. During the day at least.

But right now it was completely quiet. Mikey was sleeping in his room, Raph was still out cold in the infirmary, Donnie was still recovering and April was guarding him. And Sensei had locked himself up in his room.

The dojo was empty as expected so Leo went straight to Sensei's room. It wasn't very often they came towards their father's room. He wasn't in his room very often, and when he was he was mostly meditating, and didn't want to be disturbed.

Leo raised his hand to knock but stopped when he heard a sound coming from Sensei's room. Leo frowned slightly and lowered his hand, leaning forwards to listen better. He knew it was wrong to do but he did it anyways.

And what he heard was absolutely heartbreaking. It wasn't loud but the sobbing sounds coming from his father's room was so clear Leo could even hear it outside.

"My poor child, I am so sorry Donatello" Came his father's muffled voice. It was filled with so much hurt and regret, it hurt Leo to listen to it. Leo swallowed heavily and pushed open the door, stepping into the room.

"Father?" Leo whispered. His father had his back towards Leo, sitting on his knees. Candles were lit around him, his head was bowed forwards and he was obviously crying. His face was buried in his hands and in front of him was the photo of him, Miwa and Tang Shen with Donnie's old mask next to it.


	13. Chapter 13

"My son" Splinter called out when he noticed his oldest son entering. His hand quickly shot up to his eyes, wiping away the remaining tears. There was a choked sob echoing through the room before Splinter completely turned around, facing his oldest son.

"Dad, what's wrong?" Leo whispered and took a hesitant step. "Is it… Raph?" Leo said, his voice shivering from fear. It couldn't be right? Raph couldn't have slipped away while he was with Mikey, it couldn't be. And much to his delight Splinter shook his head.

Which meant Raph wasn't dead, but that joy was quickly replaced by even more fear. He may not be dead, but he could've slipped deeper into a coma, or Donnie could have a relapse and fallen back into a coma.

"There is nothing my son, your brothers are alright" Splinter soothed Leo, but still Leo was saddened to hear that. He was relieved nothing had happened but at the same time he wasn't. Because it also meant they hadn't improved.

Raph was still asleep, or in a coma and Donnie was still recovering. Leo frowned slightly and took a hesitant step inside the room. His father was still on his knees but was now turned towards him, his eyes still red from the crying.

"Why were you crying father?" Leo whispered. Splinter's eyes turned into a frown and Leo could clearly see he was trying to keep more tears from falling down. His father wanted to open his mouth, say something, anything to assure his oldest son.

But he couldn't do it, the only thing he heard were the words Donatello had spoken to April. He wasn't supposed to hear it, and he knew his second youngest son would never say such things to him, but he heard it, and it was like being stabbed in the heart every time he recalled the words.

'He still hurt us okay? And that's why Raph's still in a coma right now!' Splinter squeezed his eyes shut as the memory beamed through his head again, the anger and hurt lingering in Donnie's voice and at the same time the painful rasping when Donnie spoke, and all because of him.

'It's because of him Mikey can't feel his legs, he forced Raph into a coma, and Leo lives with constant uncertainty" He could feel the first tears coming again, how much he resented it, it was true, it was all true. His fault, all his fault.

He was the one who dropped his youngest son from such a height, dislocating his knees and paralyzing him. He was the one who stabbed Donatello right through his hips, he was the one to mangle Raphael's arm, and he was the one responsible for their hurt and pain.

'And that is something I can never forgive him' And again the familiar pain hit him. He let out a choked sob and bowed his head in shame, every emotion Donatello had bottled up the last days, every sign of pain, every uncertainty he was carrying. It all came out with those words.

"It's alright, they are going to be okay" Leo whispered as he wrapped his arms around his father. It was a weird sight. The son comforting the father but at the same time it wasn't. Splinter burrowed his had in the crook of his son's neck and cried like he had never done.

All the guilt he had felt the last week, the memories he was haunted with, the nightmares he had every night and the uncertainty he was feeling, every hour of the day. It all came out in tears, hugging his oldest son.

He could feel the strong arms of Leonardo around him and immediately he felt ashamed. He wasn't the one who would need to be comforted, he was supposed to comfort his sons. And not the other way around.

"Dad, what's wrong?" Leo whispered in his father's fur. He could feel his father's tears staining his own green skin but he didn't care. There was a short silence and only the choked sobs of his father could be heard.

"It is nothing my son" Splinter said once again. He couldn't do this to his son, he already carried such a burden, he couldn't carry anything more. Leo pulled out of the hug and stared deep into his father's eyes.

"Dad…" Leo started slightly hesitant. "I'm not the small turtle I once was, I'm 15, whatever it is, I can handle it, you don't have to do this alone" Leo whispered. And despite his mood, Splinter felt relieved to hear these words.

His son had grown so much these past 15 years, and he was really becoming a leader, but more importantly, he was becoming a true big brother, and the one of the best sons a father could ask for. And the four of them, were the best sons a father could possibly have.

"I know my son, but there are things that must be kept a secret, even from your loved ones" Splinter said and patted his son's head. "I am proud of you my son" He said and wrapped his arms around his son, forcing him into a tight hug.

**TMNT**

The pain was overwhelming. Bigger than he had ever experienced. His arm was hot and he felt feverish. White hot pain was constantly flowing through his veins, starting in his arm and spreading through his whole being.

His head was painfully beating, sending a flaring pain with every pulse and every breath he would take. There was nothing around him, only the emptiness. Nothing above him, and nothing beneath him. Everything was black.

There was no wind guiding him, there were no sounds telling him. There was only pain and emptiness. He could feel and hear every heartbeat beneath his plastron, and every pulse send another stabbing pain. But he could do nothing about it.

It was worse that he had ever had, than he could ever imagine. He still remembered the pain his broken shell had caused him over and over again. The immense pain he had felt once he dislocated both knees. But nothing was compared to this pain.

It was pounding on him over and over again, stabbing him, burning him, electrocuting him, and every second was worse than the other, and every second he felt even more helpless. There was nothing he could do, nothing to escape the pain, and he could only pray for it to end.

He wanted to scream, cry out of pain and at the same time he didn't. He wanted to kick and punch the one responsible for it, but the thing was, he didn't even know why he was here, or what happened, but most importantly, who did this to him.

Everything was a blur, he couldn't concentrate as the pain shot through his head every second. Thumbing through his whole being. It was worse than being electrocuted the first time they met the Shredder, it was worse than any stab wound he had been given, worse than any broken arm.

It was absolutely excruciating. The pain was overwhelming him, taking over his body, his mind and his thoughts, nothing existed anymore, only the pain.

And every second the pain became more intense, it was like being ripped in half, slowly, torturing him every second. And every second he felt more alive, more aware of his surroundings. Even when there was only darkness.

He didn't know how long he had been here, how many hours or days he had suffered but he knew they were over once a faint light appeared in the never ending darkness.

**So, many asked for me to wake up Raph, so here it is ^^ Well he isn't really awake…. But he will be soon :D**


	14. Chapter 14

"Leo, can I talk to you for a second?" April asked as she walked out of the infirmary. Leo whipped his head around and rubbed his eyes, trying to get rid of the sleepy feeling he was having. Leo groaned when he noticed he wasn't wearing his mask but he ignored it.

"Sure, what's wrong?" He said with a tired voice and practically fell on top of the couch. April was wearing some big sweatpants and her hair was loosely bound together in a messy knot. April sighed and sat down next to Leo.

"It's about Donnie" April started and turned her face towards Leo. The leader frowned slightly upon her statement. "He's getting better, don't worry." April hastily said and bit her lip slightly. It had been 5 days after Donnie had woken up, it was morning again.

"He's improving great and I talked to him yesterday." April said and took a deep breath. "He really does blame master Splinter for what has happened" She continued, pain lingering in her voice. Emotions flickered through Leo's blue eyes. Hurt, betrayal, sadness.

"A-Are you sure?" Leo stuttered and re-positioned himself. "I mean, maybe you just heard it wrong or…" He tried to reason but April cut him off.

"Leo, I'm so sorry but he really does blame him. He said he could never forgive him" April cut in. It hurt her to say it, Leo was already affected badly because of everything and just telling what Donnie had said added another thing to the list of burdens he had to carry.

"Idiot" Leo gritted through his teeth. April blinked a few times, this was something April had never imagined. She had expected every emotion, sadness, denial, hurt, but never anger. Anger towards his little brother.

"Don't blame him Leo, just give him some time." April reasoned. "He also told me that he was fine with sensei hurting him, but hurting Mikey and Raph was something he could never forgive himself, maybe Mikey can change his thoughts, or Raph when he waked up" April said, trying to assure Leo slightly.

"You really think that would work?" Leo whispered and looked up to April. Unlike any other time April had seen Leo he was uncertain. His blue orbs were wide with fear and uncertainty, and he had no idea what to do.

"I'm not sure Leo" April answered honestly and took Leo's hand in her hands. "But I really think we should try" April continued, giving Leo an assuring squeeze in his hands. Leo gave April a faint smile and sighed.

"I'll ask Mikey, I was about to wake him anyways" Leo said and completely turned towards April, wrapping his arms around the red-haired teen. "Thanks for everything April" Leo mumbled in her neck as he squeezed slightly. April laughed slightly and patted his shell.

"Don't worry about it, glad I could help" She grinned as Leo pulled out of the hug. Leo gave a playful rub in April's hair, messing up April's knot, before walking off. "Glad I could help" April whispered as she watched Leo walking off.

TMNT

Leo's thoughts were running as he walked over to Mikey's. He was so happy when Donnie had woken up but right now he was blaming his father. He could understand why Donnie did it, in a way at least. Sure it was Sensei who hurt them, it was his body which caused them all their pain, but it wasn't his mind.

It was under the rat king's control, and Donnie knew too that their father would never hurt them. He too saw the red eyes his father possessed, the weird voice he spoke in, and the actions he would never make in his entire life.

"Mikey, you awake?" Leo called out when he reached Mikey's room and knocked a few times. Without really waiting for an answer Leo pushed the door open, only to find Mikey on top of his plastron, his face buried in his pillow. His shoulders were shaking and the blanket was loosely on top of him.

"Mikey, are you crying?" Leo whispered and walked over to his baby brother's bed, sitting on the edge. Mikey groaned in the pillow.

"No" He muttered but then slowly lifted his head up, revealing his red eyes. "It's nothing" Mikey huffed and turned on his shell, awkwardly twisting his legs, since he couldn't move them himself and leaned against the wall behind him.

"Mikey…" Leo said and sat somewhat closer to his little brother, placing a hand on his legs. Mikey let out a chocked sob and rubbed his eyes slightly, wiping away the tears.

"It's nothing Leo, honestly. I'm just pissed because of everything" Mikey whispered and looked away. "Raph is still in a coma, Donnie is still recovering and I'm helpless with my legs" Mikey said and gestured to his legs.

Leo was silent for a few seconds, watching his little brother closely. He knew his little brother was bothered with everything that has happened, but it hurt Leo every time seeing him crying, or upset like this.

"Mikey, do you blame Sensei for this?" Leo whispered after a short silence. Mikey's head immediately shot up, staring wide eyed at Leo and for a few moments he had no idea what to say. Leo couldn't be serious right?

"What, no!" Mikey exclaimed, he still couldn't believe Leo would even ask this, but he just did, and he was deadly serious about it. "Why would I blame him? It wasn't his fault" Mikey said, his thoughts racing. Maybe Leo was blaming Sensei, maybe that's why he was asking all of this.

"Donnie does" Leo stated with a sigh. Mikey frowned when Leo said that and looked at his older brother with confusion. "He talked to April yesterday, he told April he blames father for what he has done" Leo said.

"But… what… he can't do that!" Mikey exclaimed and threw his hands in the air. He couldn't believe Donnie would do that, why would he blame father like that? Out of all of them, Donnie would be the last one to blame him. He knew better than to blame him.

"He told April that he blamed father because he hurt you and Raph" Leo explained and rested a hand on his brother's shoulder. "Talk to him Mikey, you may be the only one who can" Mikey seemed to doubt for a second, taking in all the information before nodding.

"I'll try" Mikey whispered and looked into Leo's sea blue eyes. Hurt lingering in both pair of eyes. "Can you bring me to him?" Mikey asked after that. A faint grin appeared on Leo's face and he reached down for Mikey, hovering him up.

His left arm supporting Mikey's shell, and his right arm beneath his knees. Mikey sighed slightly and turned his head away, hoping Leo wouldn't notice his discomfort, but of course that also didn't go unnoticed by his big brother.

Leo quickly glanced over to the kitchen, and saw April cooking their breakfast as usual. Sensei was presumably still in his room and Raph was still out could in the infirmary.

"Leo" Mikey started hesitantly, looking up to his older brother. "Do you think Raph will wake up?" Mikey whispered with his innocent voice. Leo could feel his heart breaking in tiny little pieces only with those words and he found himself unable to answer.

How could he possible tell his little brother that Raph would probably never wake up? That 8 days in coma could do huge damage to his body, and his already damaged arms could cause so much complications that he would never be able to use it.

And how could he possibly burden him with such uncertainty? Not knowing when or if your brother would wake up was already bad enough, but telling he might have severe damage after doing so, he couldn't do that to Mikey.

"Raph's too stubborn not to wake up" Leo said after a few seconds. "He won't die like that Mikey, we have to trust him on that" Mikey just hummed slightly and pressed his cheek against Leo's plastron.

"I just want everything back to normal" Mikey mumbled, not really expecting an answer. Leo sighed as he pushed open the lab door.

"Me too, but we'll be alright, I'm sure" Leo assured his little brother and walked straight to Donnie's bed, placing Mikey on the chair, making sure he was steady before releasing him, so he wouldn't fall forwards or anything.

"Donnie" Leo whispered and shook Donnie's body slightly, trying to indicate if he was awake or not. A short groan escaped the Donnie's mouth and he fluttered his eyes open.

"H-Hey guys" He rasped, blinking a few times. A grin appeared on his face, which Mikey and Leo returned to him.

"Hey buddy, how are you feeling?" Leo asked, scanning Donnie. He seemed more awake than ever, and his skin, that had always been pale for the last week, was starting to get some color back.

"Better, the pain is becoming manageable" Donnie said, still a slightly rasp in his voice. Leo frowned slightly upon the statement. "Really Leo, it's just throbbing, I mean…" Donnie said as he saw the look on his brother's face.

"I believe you" Leo cut in and placed a hand on his brother's mouth. Donnie snickered slightly and Leo removed his hand. "So how do you feel about a trip to the living room?" Leo suddenly asked, which caught Donnie's and Mikey's attention.

"Living room, are you serious?" Donnie exclaimed but cringed slightly when another shot of pain hit him and he gasped slightly. Leo was immediately alarmed but Donnie raised his arms, signaling he was okay.

Donnie took a few deep breaths before relaxing on the bed again. His eyes were closed as he tried to keep his breathing under control. Leo took his hand, stroking him slightly to calm him down.

"I'm serious Don" Leo said, after Donnie had calmed down enough. "You will be more comfortable there, you're healed enough to do so, we just have to set up an IV stand" Leo explained.

"Where the shell will we get one?" Donnie groaned slightly but offered Leo a playful grin afterwards. Leo smiled back but it immediately disappeared when he remembered why he was here in the first place.

"I will figure it out, leave this to us Donnie" Leo assured him and rubbed his head slightly. "Just think about it" Leo continued and stood up, turning to Mikey, flashing him a 'good luck' face before walking off.

"What was that about?" Donnie frowned as Leo left the room, leaving Mikey and Donnie alone in the infirmary. Donnie gave a nervous laugh but stopped when she saw Mikey nervously shifting on his chair.

"Mikey?" Donnie frowned, staring at his little brother in confusion. Mikey looked up, hurt in his baby blue eyes. A few tears lingering in them.

"Why would you do it?" Mikey whispered. Donnie frowned slightly upon his question. "How can you blame father like that?!" He exclaimed, slightly angry. Donnie's eyes widened when Mikey asked him that.

"He hurt you Mikey, how can I not?" Donnie frowned, Mikey sighed and bit his lip. "You don't blame him, don't you?" Donnie asked when Mikey just stared downwards. Mikey shifted slightly again before opening his mouth.

"How can I?! You know better Donnie, you know father would never hurt us, he loves us" Mikey exclaimed and threw his hands up in the air. "I don't blame him Donnie, why can't you do that too?" Mikey continued, slightly calmer

"Mikey, he hurt you, and Raph. I can never forgive that" Donnie said, slightly saddened by his little brother's outburst. "Besides..." He started but was roughly cut off by Mikey.

"Stop it Don, please. I don't blame father, Leo doesn't blame him, and neither should you" Mikey reasoned and bowed his head. "Raph isn't even up yet Don, how can you do this to him?" Mikey whispered, totally defeated.

"He hurt you, I just can't stand seeing you hurt like this. I just want you to be happy" Donnie whispered, surprised by Mikey's sudden mood.

"Can't you see it?! If you want to be happy, why can't you just forgive father, you know he didn't mean to do it! And Raph will wake up, and then everything will go back to normal" Mikey exclaimed, keeping his voice low despite the anger he was feeling.

"And what about you? He was the one who caused you your paralyzed legs" Donnie stated. Mikey was silent for a second but just merely nodded upon the statement. Slowly Mikey lifted his head, revealing his red eyes.

"I'll be fine" Mikey said but Donnie frowned upon the statement. "Donnie please, I will heal, Leo said I could do it" Mikey continued, but to be honest, he wasn't even sure himself. Sure he had promised Leo he would heal, but he had no idea how.

"You don't look too convinced yourself" Donnie pointed out before tears appeared in his eyes. "Mikey... it's just... I don't know anymore. I blame him, but a the same time I don't. I just can't get over the point he hurt you." Donnie suddenly admitted.

"And if I heal, and if Raph wakes up?" Mikey said, wiping away some tears that were falling down his cheeks. He still couldn't believe Donnie was serious about everything, about blaming his father.

"I just don't Mikey know really. Maybe... I just can't seeing you like this... " Donnie said and bit his lip slightly, staring towards the ceiling. Mikey shifted slightly besides him.

"But what if I heal, will you be able to forgive him?" Mikey whispered after a few seconds. Donnie frowned and dropped his head to the side, glancing over to Mikey. Could he really forgive his father once Mikey was healed?

And was he really blaming his father to begin with? Everything that had happened in the past week was just so much. Raph being in a coma, Mikey's paralyzed legs, Leo's uncertainty and his pain. And his father was the only one to blame.

But the truth was, it wasn't his father, it was the rat king. It was only his father's body, but not his mind. He too saw the red eyes when the sword was in his hips, they weren't splinter's eyes.

"...Maybe..." Donnie whispered after a few silent seconds and bit his lip slightly. "I'll try, but you have to promise you will try too" Donnie said, gesturing to Mikey's legs.

"I will" Mikey said determined. Slowly tears formed in Mikey's eyes again and he was unable to stop them this time. Slowly his shoulders began to shake, sending shivers down his spine and before he knew he was sobbing out loud.

"I-I want to D-Donnie, I-I just w-want everything back to normal... but I j-just don't know how. I w-want you back, I want R-Raph and L-Leo... S-Sensei's training... Bu-But what if R-Raph never wakes up... and if I never walk again... and ..." Mikey sobbed but stopped.

His breaths were coming out in short wheezes and he was unable to say anything. Tears were falling down his cheeks. HIs eyes were red and swollen, his shoulders shaking badly.

"Don't cry Mikey" Donnie whispered but he too had tears in his eyes. Donnie sighed and with difficulty lifted his blanket. "C'mere" Mikey was silent once Donnie had spoken to him and more tears stained his cheeks.

"I-I can't..." Mikey started but Donnie cut him off.

"Yes you can, you said you would heal right?" He dared his little brother. Uncertainty flashed over his eyes but then changed into determination. He gritted his teeth and stretched his arm, grabbing the railing of Donnie's bed.

A faint grin appeared on Donnie's face as Mikey's face contracted with concentration. Taking a deep breath Mikey hovered himself up, but fell to the ground immediately when he felt his legs beneath him.

He cried out slightly but kept up slightly, supporting himself with his arm on the bed railing. Mikey gritted his teeth and pushed himself up once again. His legs useless beneath him but he pushed away the thought and just concentrated on getting on the bed.

"You can do it Mikey" Donnie encouraged and that was enough to convince Mikey. He pushed again, slowly climbing on top of the bed. He panted and landed right on top of the bed with his plastron, while his legs were still uselessly tangling beneath him.

He gritted his teeth again and grabbed the bed tighter, pulling him onto the bed even more. He struggled and panted but eventually he completely managed to get on top of the bed.

"I knew you could do it little bro" Donnie grinned and placed the blanket on top of Mikey too. Tears were still falling down Mikey's face and he buries hid face in Donnie's plastron, as a small smile appeared on his face. He did it, he really did it.

**TMNT**

**I'm so sorry Raph isn't in it! I planned on including him but suddenly I had like 2800 words and otherwise I thought it would be too long. Next chapter will have Raph, and Raph waking up, I promise! **


	15. Chapter 15

**Happy Sinterklaas everybody, at least the Dutch people who read this story ^^ (Like InsaneDutchGirl) **

**And of course every other Dutch person, or who celebrates it, I guess they celebrate it in other countries too right? **

**Anyways, enjoy the chapter! **

**TMNT**

Donnie sighed in satisfaction as he was finally lowered on the couch, his chest and hips were burning like shell. Hot pain was radiating through his body with every heart beat but he ignored it, all that mattered was that he was finally out of the infirmary.

He hated the constant beeping sound next to him, the painful wheezing of Raph's breathing and the occasional grunts that were coming from his older brother. He hated the depressed mood that lingered around the infirmary.

Every time someone would come into the infirmary it was either to check on him, or check on Raph. And there would always be an awkward silence. The occasional shifting, the sighing and the small whispers that echoed through the infirmary.

Begging for Raph to wake up, pleading and saying he couldn't give up. And they whispered, in the hope Donnie wouldn't hear him, or her, but it never worked. And Donnie could hear every word that was spoken and every tear that was shed.

"You alight Donnie?" He could hear Leo whisper. He grunted slightly and opened his eyes, only then realizing he had closed them. He blinked a few times and looked up to his older brother, offering a small smile and he noticed his father was gone again.

"I-I'll be alright, it's just throbbing" Donnie offered. Even after the breathing tube has been removed his throat was still hurting, and while it had improved so much it was still rasping. Leo grinned slightly and patted Donnie's shoulder.

"Just a little longer, I'll insert the IV tube in a second" Leo assured him as he placed a blanket on top of his little brother. Donnie merely nodded and Leo stood up, walking towards the infirmary.

It had been a few hours since Leo had found Mikey and Donnie together in Donnie's bed, Mikey's head firmly hidden inside Donnie's plastron and Donnie pulling him close. Donnie just trying to comfort his little brother while Mikey cried.

April had managed to get the IV, Donnie would need to get him to the living room, very fast at a friend's house, who didn't need it anymore. The medicines and needles were something Donnie had collected already.

It took them some time figure out the best way to get Donnie to the living room, and in the meantime they moved Mikey to the dojo, where April would keep his company. Eventually they just decided to carry Donnie and he had asked Sensei to help him, since April wasn't strong enough and Mikey couldn't even walk himself.

But as soon as they placed Donnie on the couch Sensei left, not because he didn't care about Donnie, he loved his sons so much, and that was exactly the reason why he couldn't be around Donatello right now, knowing his son blamed him, having missed the whole agreement with Donnie and Mikey.

Leo sighed and quickly grabbed the IV stand that was next to Donnie's bed, together with the pain medication and the possible liquid food. In case Donnie wouldn't be able to keep his food down. Which happened before, and it wasn't a pleasant thing to see.

Leo shook his head and left the infirmary as fast as he entered. When he reached the couch again Donnie had his eyes closed and his breaths came out with a little wheezing sound. Leo swallowed and placed a hand on Donnie's forehead.

"Do you have any trouble breathing?" Leo whispered as he tried to detect a possible fever, but luckily there wasn't any, although he was a little bit hotter than usual. Donnie cracked his eyes open and seemed to think for a minute, wiggling his fingers and toes slightly.

"It hurts" Donnie eventually admitted and closed his eyes again. "And my head and throat too" Donnie added to the list of injuries. Leo chuckled slightly and carefully pressed his fingers against Donnie's throat. His throat wasn't swollen, which was a good sign.

"I'll insert the IV and then I'll get you something for your throat and some water okay?" Leo asked as he picked up the liquid sack, attaching it to the IV stand. Leo then went over to Donnie arm, lifting it, revealing his underarm.

Donnie watched with a close eye as Leo cleaned the area, and got the needle ready. Looking over to Donnie one last time he carefully pushed the needle inside his skin, stabbing through the vein. Donnie winced at the unpleasant feeling but didn't move an inch.

"There you go" Leo said as he secured the needle with some tape, so Donnie wouldn't accidently pull it out or damage it in a way. He connected the needle with the IV tube and watched as the clear liquid entered Donnie's arm.

Donnie sighed in relief when he felt the pain killer through his blood stream and clearly relaxed on the couch, closing his eyes for a bit. Leo smiled slightly and nudged Donnie's shoulder carefully.

"Don't fall asleep just yet, I'll get you some water and something for your sore throat, then you can sleep okay?" Leo asked and tapped Donnie on the cheek lightly. He knew his little brother was exhausted but he had to drink some water before going to sleep, it would be better.

Donnie just breathed out as he opened his eyes again, indicating he was still awake. Leo flashed him a grin and left his little brother, going towards the kitchen. When Leo entered the kitchen he grabbed a glass, filling it with some water.

He reached out for the first-aid kit, taking some liquid medicine, specially designed for a sore throat. Leo checked the label to be sure before walking back to the living room. As expected Donnie's eyes were closed again but the wheezing in his breathing indicated he was still awake.

"Wake up little bro" Leo said as he nudged his shoulder again. Donnie groaned slightly and tried to move, a painful grunt escaped his mouth when pain shot up his spine but it subsided just as fast as it came. Leo carefully lifted Donnie head and sat down on the edge.

"Here, drink" Leo obligated and placed the glass against Donnie's lips. The purple banded turtle opened his eyes, staring at the glass before willingly opening his mouth. Leo took that as an invitation and carefully and slowly poured the cool liquid into Donnie's mouth, being sure it wasn't too much at the time.

When Donnie emptied half of the glass he winced and turned his head away, indicating he had enough. Leo sighed and carefully lowered Donnie's head on the pillow again. Leo put away the glass and took the medicine.

"Open up" He commanded and smiled as Donnie opened his mouth again. Carefully he poured the correct measurement into Donnie's mouth, obeying him to swallow it. Donnie hummed in satisfaction and dropped his head to the side in exhaustion.

"Sleep tight little bro" Leo smiled and rubbed Donnie's head carefully. Leo picked up the blanket and tugged Donnie in again, paying close attention to the IV sticking out of his arm. He checked the sack of liquid one last time, he would need to change it in a few hours, but until then he would let his brother sleep.

**TMNT**

His body felt numb, light was burning above his eyelids. His ears were pumping from the high noises around him and his arm was throbbing. Sending waves of pain every second, every heart beat and every breath he would take.

His legs were tingling, begging for him to move, but he couldn't. His body wasn't responding to his calls, he was just too tired to do anything. Part of him just wanted to fall asleep, to escape the pain and the numb feeling he was feeling.

But another part of him wanted to get up, go to his family and yell at them for leaving him, wherever he was. The light was blinding, the noises were annoying and the scent was overwhelming. And for the first time for very long, it was actually silent.

Only the occasional beep was disturbing the silence but he didn't mind, he loved the steady beating of his heart, once he found out it was his heart. It was the only thing he could focus on lately. Unlike the high squeaking noises he kept hearing every now and then.

Sometimes longer than other times. And he soon figured they were voices instead of the meaningless noises he had always thought. And over the days, weeks, maybe even months, they became more accurate but he could never understand them.

He groaned slightly, his heart skipping a beat. He familiar air rushing past his lips, slowly he trailed his tongue across them, feeling the rough and dry surface of his own lips, as far as he had them. He winced and tried to open his mouth even more, but his mouth refused to cooperate.

His spirit was still floating in oblivion, while his mind was back in his body, and he was trapped. He winced again when another wave of pain rushed through his body, it wasn't any worse than the other times but somehow it felt different. Like it was more present.

It wasn't hurting more, nor was it more intense, it was just more alive. And the only logical explanation, he was waking up. And it was like the rock that had been crushing him for a very long time was beginning to lift from his chest.

He found himself relieved and happy. He had no idea how long he had been out, months, weeks, maybe even years. He didn't even know if his family was alive or not, but he wanted to wake up, even if it would hurt him.

He could feel another sound escaping his lips, louder this time. Gravity was still pushing his body down onto the mattress, or wherever he was lying on, and he found himself unable to move. But something made him more aware. He could feel his legs, his toes, his fingers.

His eyes were twitching beneath his eyelids. He wanted to open them, look where he was, see where he was lying on, if someone was near him and if his family was okay.

A wheezing sound escaped his dry mouth, wincing at the roughness of his throat. The gravity was pressing harder and harder every second while he became more aware every second. The fingers on his left hand twitched slightly.

He could feel the silk of his sheets brushing against his fingertips before a bright light entered his eyes. He grunted and closed his eyes immediately after he opened them. His whole vision was white as he tried to adjust to the brightness he hadn't seen in a while.

After a while the bright feeling subsided and he tried again, slowly opening his eyes. The light was still terribly bright but it was manageable this time. His eyes went from left to right, taking in the familiar lab of his younger brother Donnie.

But it had changed, he was in a bed, the usual white wall on his right while some kind of curtain was placed on his left, shielding his vision. His head dropped to the right, taking in the rest of the room, but most of his vision was blocked by the curtain.

Next to him was the machine that had caused the beeping sound, representing his heart line. He wiggled on his bed and placed both hands on the mattress, trying to push himself up, and then white pain ripped through his body, starting with his right arm.

He let out a pained scream, which seemed to choke in his throat as he fell back on the bed instantly. His body started convulsing as pain practically tore him to pieces. It was like electricity was flowing through his body every second.

His head was wheezing, spinning and circling while it was resting on the pillow. His throat seemed to close, making it hard to breathe which left him panting for air. And he knew from the pain that was radiating through his whole body that something was wrong, very wrong.

His eyes widened and a gagging sound left his mouth. His chest was heaving, desperately trying to find the air he wasn't taking in. He began to trash in his bed as much as he could, his left arm whaling out, trying to grab something, anything.

There was a loud crashing sound when the glass shattered on the ground but he paid no attention to it. He could only think about the sweat that was trickling down his forehead, his lungs screaming for air and the white bandages around his right arm, that were slowly turning red.

**Honestly, this was supposed to be a happy ending, somewhat, and then I wrote this….. **


	16. Chapter 16

Leo sighed and wiped Donnie's forehead with the cold cloth again, removing the small droplets of sweat tickling down his forehead. His mouth was partly open, wheezing through the gap in between his tooth. His forehead felt warm and he was clearly burning up again.

"You just had to get sick didn't you?" Leo chuckled as he trailed the cloth in the cold water again. Donnie cracked his eyes open, looking over to his older brother with disorientated eyes, but then chuckled slightly.

"C-Can't help it" He slurred, still half asleep. Ever since they had moved him to the living room he had developed another fever, plaguing him just like Raph had. Luckily Donnie wasn't as bad as Raph's, but it was still very unpleasant, and it wasn't working with his recovery.

"I guess I was a bit too eager to move you" Leo sighed and trailed the cloth along Donnie's head again, cooling it the best he could. Donnie sighed slightly and a faint smile appeared on his face. Leo's eyes fell on the bandages around Donnie's wound.

He had to look at it soon but he figured it would be better to let Donnie rest for now. He just needed to be sure everything was healing correctly, and that could be done the next day or so, Donnie needed his rest.

"Y-you were always so impatient" Donnie chuckled and turned his head to the side. Donnie's cheeks had a slight shade of red, showing he indeed had a fever. Leo snickered and lowered the cloth on the couch, feeling Donnie's head with the other.

"You should get some rest though, give your body time to heal" Leo explained and trailed the cloth along Donnie's arm quickly before placing it aside. Donnie merely nodded and Leo lifted the blanket up to the top of Donnie's plastron.

"Leo" Donnie started after a few silent moments. Leo's head shot up in surprise, thinking Donnie had already fallen asleep. "Do you think we'll be okay? Y'know… with Raph" Leo bit his lip, he knew this question would come eventually, but he still wasn't ready to fully answer it.

He already thought it was hard with Mikey, but Donnie was something more difficult. He had the medical knowledge, Mikey didn't. He would know when Leo would say something ridiculous, there was no fooling him, and he wasn't ready to tell Raph might never wake up.

"To be honest Don, I don't know." Leo sighed and bowed his head in shame. He was supposed to be the leader, protect his little brothers. Mikey had woken up but was paralyzed, Donnie had woken up too but had a long recovery to go, while Raph wasn't even awake yet.

"He's stable, but there is a big chance…. he won't ever wake up" The last sentence seemed to stop in his throat. It felt like his airway was closing off, denying all the oxygen he wanted to squeeze through. He couldn't, he wouldn't be able to lose Raph.

No matter how many times he argued with his hot-headed brother, no matter how much they fought, he loved him so much, he loved all of his brothers so much, and he couldn't imagine a life without them, any of them.

Suddenly he felt a hand wrap around his hand. It felt warm and comforting and Leo looked up, only to stare in Donnie's tired eyes. A faint smile was on his face, while sweat was starting to form again.

"He will be fine Leo, I'm sure he will" Donnie said, but even Leo could detect the hint of uncertainty. Leo just sighed as he placed the blanket on top of Donnie again, which had fallen off in the meantime.

"We'll see, but you have to sleep now, once you wake up I'll have to look at your stitches" Leo ordered, untangling his hand from Donnie's hand. It carefully retreated back under the blanket, resting it along his body.

"You should rest too" Donnie slurred, growing more tired by the second. Leo chuckled and rubbed Donnie's head slightly as he watched Donnie closing his eyes slightly, just like he had done hours ago when they had just moved him to the couch.

Leo wanted to open his mouth to say something but the soft snoring indicated he had already fallen asleep. Leo chuckled, obviously the little nap didn't do much, hopefully he would rest some more this time, instead of waking up with another fever.

Just as Leo wanted to stand up there was a loud crash coming from the lab. Leo whipped his head around, frowning slightly. Nobody was in the lab at the moment. April and Mikey were still in the dojo, or wherever they were, and Master Splinter was in his room. Donnie was right in front of him.

Slowly Leo stood up, looking over to Donnie one last time before walking towards the lab. There were some soft noises but he couldn't really make them out. Slowly he pushed the door open, looking inside. And what he saw terrified him.

Raph was convulsing on his bed, gasping for air and writhing in obvious pain. The needles from the IV were all ripped out of his body and the thing that scared him the most, petrified him, were his bandages that were slowly turning red.

"SPLINTER, APRIL!" Leo screamed as loud as he could, running over to his brother. Raph was still convulsing and Leo immediately placed his hands on his brothers' plastron, trying to keep him on the bed.

"Raph listen to me!" Leo yelled, trying to calm his brother. He could feel the heartbeat of his little brother beneath him, and it scared him how fast it was, way too fast for his liking. He bit his lip, he couldn't hold him like this, he had to look at his arm.

"Leo, what is….RAPH OMG" April yelled behind him. Leo bit his lip and whipped his head around. His eyes were wide with fear, and so were April's. Immediately April started running towards Raph's bed, her whole body shivered.

"April hold his arm, like this" Leo yelled immediately, and placed one hand on the upper part of his plastron, and the other one around Raph's right wrist, pinning his arm down without hurting him. April immediately obeyed and did as was told, pinning Raph down effectively.

"Raph listen to me buddy, please!" Leo called out as he ripped open some drawers, looking for a breathing mask, or something that would help him. Seconds past, and the wheezing sound of his brother kept ringing through lab. He wasn't breathing, it all kept repeating in his head, he wasn't breathing.

Raph was wheezing with every breath, and every time his plastron was heaving, rising and falling in an attempt to draw more oxygen, but he couldn't get any. His eyes were squeezed shut. Finally Leo found a breathing mask and didn't hesitate, immediately pulling it over Raph's head.

He clicked the breathing mask in place, allowing the oxygen to fill Raph's lungs. Raph's body fell to the bed, exhausted. A few weakened attempts to move, but ended in some hopeless twitching as his body was drawing the oxygen, finally getting some.

Shakily his eyes opened, trying to find Leo's eyes. Leo carefully placed a hand on his brothers plastron, feeling as the heart rate slowly but surely lowered, but still way too fast.

"I-it h-hurts Leo… p-please… m-make it s-stop" Raph cracked, pausing with every breath, sending pain down his spine. Leo felt himself heartbroken looking at the scene. Raph never begged for the pain to stop, he never begged at all, but right now he was a mess, and that only emphasized how much pain he was in.

Tears were leaking down his face, his green eyes wide with fear or squeezed shut. He was twitching slightly, still trying to escape the pain he was feeling. April was still pinning Raph down, without hurting his already injured arm.

"My son" Leo looked up, seeing his father suddenly standing next to Raph's bed. His voice sounded calm but Leo knew he had to be freaking out too, and seeing his eyes that was the case. Splinter wanted to say something more, but Leo cut him off, they had to be fast.

"Sensei, hold him still please" Leo said hastily, not waiting for his father to approve and just rushed for the drawers again. He could hear Raph groaning and twitching from the pain but he ignored it, he had to focus on finding that sedative.

"My son, it will be alright, Leonardo will make you better" Splinter spoke as he placed his hand on Raph's stomach, and the other stroking his forehead. Raph groaned again, dropping his face to the left so his eyes would meet Sensei's

"H-Hurts" Raph slurred and another wave of pain hit him again. Splinter's face flushed when he heard another pained reply from his son, he could do nothing to help him right now, only assure him in every way he could.

"April, turn his arm please" Leo suddenly said, standing next to April, and looking at Raph's arm. The bandages were already completely soaked but he was struggling too much. April did as Leo asked and turned his arm around, which was harder than it looked because Raph kept struggling the whole time.

April bit her lip as a pained cry escaped Raph mouth as soon as she pressed his arm down, seizing his struggling slightly. Leo carefully rubbed Raph's wrist with some alcohol and then injected a sedative into his bloodstream.

"Just a little longer Raph, hold on" Leo pleaded and rubbed Raph's cheek slightly, trying to calm him down. Slowly Raph's movement ceased slightly, but even Leo knew the sedative wasn't strong enough to take Raph's pain away.

Splinter gave a short nod to Leo once Raph fell back on the cot, totally exhaustion but still moaning in pain slightly. Carefully Leo began to cut the bandages around Raph's arm through, wincing as the blood stained his own hands.

The bandages were running from the half of his under-arm and covering his whole shoulder, and part of his chest. Leo gasped slightly when the wound revealed itself again. He wanted to gag right then and there.

The stitches around his shoulder, sewing the stab wound, were torn, blood leaking out of them like small rivers. And the bone in his elbow that had been set a week ago, was practically banging against the skin, almost breaking it.

"S-Sensei" Leo chocked, unable to hold back his own tears as he looked at the mangled arm, they had set it, stitched it. It was supposed to be okay, it was supposed to be healed in 6 weeks, but right now it was all mangled again.

"My son, I am afraid… we have to relocate his bone again" His father said with a pained look. He gave a short rub to his son's plastron and walked around the table, taking over Raph's arm. The red-banded turtle yelped slightly and tried to pull his arm back but failed miserably.

Splinter hated to see his son like this. The attempt to pull his arm back was so weak, and so vulnerable. His eyes were full of pain and his chest was heaving with every ounce of oxygen he was getting from the breathing mask. And even with the sedative he was in so much pain.

"Leonardo, hold his under-arm for me please, April, can you try to calm him down, it will be painful" Splinter ordered, hurt in his voice, but he knew it had to be done, if his son ever wanted to heal again. April nodded and walked to the other side, where Splinter was just seconds ago.

"Raph, look at me please" April whispered and tipped Raph's head to the right, forcing him to look at her. Tears were lingering in his green eyes as he stared up to April. His face was contracted in a grimace of pain, but he was too exhausted to struggle or complain about it.

"Raph, they are going to fix your arm, but you must keep your arm still, can you do that?" April whispered and smiled when Raph nodded weakly. "Just look at me, I'm right here" The red-haired teen continued and took Raph's left hand in hers, squeezing it slightly, and to her delight, Raph returned the squeeze.

She looked up for a bit, Leo had Raph's arm pinned to the bed, while Splinter was preparing to push the bone back in its place, they had to do that before, but right now Raph would be conscious, and would feel it.

April gave another squeeze and looked away herself as Splinter placed his hand on Raph's upper-arm. She knew the sickening crack would come any second but she couldn't look at it, it was just too awful, and that only made her pity Raph worse.

Raph never screamed when the bone was pushed back into the right place, only the sickening crack of the bone was filling the room. April wanted to run away, she couldn't bear the horrible sound, but she stood her ground, slowly stroking Raph's hand with her thumb.

A last crack was heard when the bone was totally pushed back into place and then silence. Raph blinked slightly, trying to keep the tears out of his eyes but he failed. His whole body was shivering from the pain, his chest heaving way too much.

And only then April dared to look up. The elbow of Raph was pushed into place again but was already starting to swell slightly, and starting to turn blue. While the stitches were still covered with blood. Leo was slowly cutting the remaining stitches, and pulling them out.

"You're doing great, Leo is almost done" April whispered in Raph's ear, continuously stroking his hand to assure him. Raph wasn't replying, just staring ahead of him. His eyes partly open, tears streaming down his cheeks.

April looked up to Leo, giving him a slight nod as Leo pressed a sterile gauze against the wound, to stop the bleeding before he could stitch it. Raph whimpered slightly but didn't complain or anything, just gritting his teeth.

Once the bleeding had stopped, Leo slowly removed the gauze and grabbed all the materials he would need to stitch the wound. He ignored the glances he was getting from his family and began to pierce Raph's wound, slowly sewing the wound together.

Once that was done he cleaned the wound another time, just to make sure another infection wouldn't set in, and wrapped it up with bandages. Tightening them around the elbow, so his bone would be secured and it would heal properly.

"Raph, stay awake a little longer" Leo whispered and tipped Raph's head to his side. "I can't give you another sedative, your body would reject it, but I can give you some ibuprofen if you want?" Leo asked and signed for Sensei to leave Raph's arm.

Raph groaned slightly as the pressure on his arm left but he made no effort to move it, having learned his lesson already. Slowly he nodded. Leo gave a shallow grin as he grabbed 2 ibuprofen from the drawer next to him.

"April, can you hold him for me?" Leo asked, gesturing to the weak turtle next to them. April merely nodded and placed her hand under Raph's head, lifting him up slowly. Leo kept a close eye on Raph's arm, making sure April wouldn't hurt him accidently.

Once Raph was in a half-sitting position, Leo sat down on the edge and placed the two pills against his lips. Raph groaned slightly and opened his mouth, allowing Leo to place the pills inside of his mouth. Immediately afterwards Leo kept the glass against his lips.

Again Raph opened his mouth and Leo slowly tipped the content out of the glass. A flash of relief flashed over Raph's face when the cold water eased his burning lungs, and the ibuprofen began to spread through his body.

"The worst is over my son" Splinter said and patted Leo's shoulder. April nodded and lowered Raph on the pillow, pulling the blanket up to his chin. Raph had his eyes closed, still a grimace of pain but floating between consciousness and unconsciousness.

"Go, I'll watch over Raphael, Michelangelo and Donatello need you right now" Splinter said gently, rubbing Raph's head slightly, sitting down on the place of Leo.

"Call us when he wakes up" April whispered and was the first one to leave. Leo hesitated slightly. He didn't want to leave Raph now, not when he just woke up. Leo shifted slightly as he looked at his father, patting Raph like a toddler. He didn't want to go, but Donnie and Mikey needed him.

"Bye little bro" Leo whispered and trailed his fingers along Raph's face. Raph opened his eyes slightly for a second, just staring at Leo before falling back into unconsciousness again, but the worst was over. "I'm glad you're awake" Leo added and left the lab, a smile on his face.

**This turned out way longer than I planned it to be xD I hope you liked it tho ^^ **


	17. Chapter 17

**It has been so long since I updated this story, and I'm sorry! I finished my other stories and after that I was busy with school work, essay's and tests, and the Christmas ball (Is that the right translation? :/ ) and directly after that my birthday, which I totally forgot myself xD **

**And I've been working on a new story, for the ones reading my bio (Which I highly doubt ^^) **

**Anyways, here is the new chapter! :D**

**TMNT**

Everything was supposed to be better once Raph would wake up. Donnie would heal eventually, just like Raph. And Mikey would work on his legs to regain them. Their father would apologize and they would accept it.

Saying they could never blame him for all the pain and suffering he had caused them, but it wasn't like that. Donnie was, even after their talk, still blaming Splinter. And Mikey was far from motivated to regain his movement again.

Raph was worse than before. He was already healing a week, and right now, that was all thrown away. His bone had been banging against his skin, almost breaking it and they were forced to push it back again.

Leaving the elbow heavily bruised and completely swollen. Luckily they could have prevented another infection setting in. Raph wouldn't be able to deal with it.

The stitches were torn too and Leo had been forced to cut them away, stitching the wound again. And just like 8 days ago, Raph was still totally wrapped in clean and white bandages with no sign of waking up.

He wasn't in a coma again, but he was still out of it, and there was a high change that he would slip into a coma if he wouldn't wake up fast. His body was already way too weak to handle everything, he couldn't keep up longer if he wouldn't wake up.

Donnie has been out of it ever since Raph had woken up, and he was still suffering badly from his fever. And Leo refused to leave his side, somehow feeling guilty for Donnie's fever. If he hadn't moved him, it wouldn't have happened.

But at the same time he knew how ridiculous it was. He knew it wasn't right to blame himself for Donnie's fever.

Mikey became more with-drawn once he heard Raph had been awake but Leo never told him about Raph's injuries. Mikey had refused to join dinner, and just stayed in his bedroom for the rest of the day. And right now he was missing breakfast too.

Which wasn't very surprising, figuring he and Raph shared a strong bond. And Leo was refusing Mikey to see him. Raph needed his rest, more than anyone else so it wouldn't be wise for anyone to visit him, at least that was what Leo told him. And Mikey accepter it, in a way, but he was still sulking about it.

And sensei, he was even worse than before. He had finally come out of his little 'guilt trip' but after seeing Raph's wounds he had locked himself up again, and hadn't talked to any of them ever since. Leo would sometimes check on his father, but never dared to go into his room.

He wanted to help so badly, telling him it wasn't his fault but he was a coward, and he left every time he heard the suppressed sobs of his father. And he knew his father was crying, praying for forgiveness in his room, and still Leo couldn't bring himself to enter his father's room.

It was morning again, roughly 12 hours after Raph had woken up, scared and in extreme pain. And Leo was helplessly to watch his family shattering right in front of him. Raph still wasn't out of the woods, and he would never be if he wouldn't wake up very soon.

Donnie was still out cold due to his fever and Mikey had locked himself in his room ever since, just like his father. And April has gone to school, forcing Leo to take care of his shattered family.

Leo glanced up, watching Donnie closely. His eyes were still closed with sweat trickling down his forehead. He had already packed the liquid food, ready to give it to Don but it could wait a little longer. He didn't want to give his little brother liquid food, but if he wouldn't eat it himself, he was forced to do it.

The blue banded turtle sighed and glanced towards Mikey's room, the door was still firmly closed and no sound was coming from the room. Which was mostly filled with noises. Music, snoring, Mikey crashing into stuff, but right now there was nothing.

"Alright, that's it" Leo mumbled to himself as he stood up. Mikey's plate of food was starting to get cold, and even though Mikey wasn't here yet, Leo had made him breakfast. But he couldn't just stand watching it getting cold, Mikey was coming out of his room right now.

He glanced towards Donnie for a few seconds before storming towards Mikey, and without waiting he opened the door. Slightly calmer than he intended it to. Mikey's head immediately shot up and his eyes locked in Leo's eyes.

And all the anger he was feeling subsided immediately. He hated himself for it but he felt quite angry towards Mikey, him locking himself up. But seeing that look in Mikey's eyes, pure defeat and hurt, made him rethink.

"Mikey…" Leo breathed out, he didn't know what else to say, and merely walked over to the bed Mikey was sitting on. His shell was pressed against the wall, his legs sprawled in front of him and his gaze focused on his approaching brother.

And that when Leo noticed the small sparkle of joy behind the hurt and defeat. Leo sighed as he sat down and looked over to Mikey's legs. His knees were still wrapped in bandages. They were less than Raph needed.

Mikey's knees weren't popping without the braces like Raph's would do, but they were unable to hold Mikey's weight without the braces, something Raph had too. Not that he could support himself at all.

"Why won't you come out Mikey?" Leo whispered after a short silence, glancing up to Mikey again. The young turtle seemed to doubt for a second and bailed his hands slightly.

"There's something you're not telling me Leo" Mikey said after a while. "You said Raph woke up, and he needed his rest but I know something is wrong, I know it Leo" He continued. Leo blinked a few times. Even after 15 years of living with his little brother he was amazed with his talent.

Ever since they were young Mikey could sense whenever something was wrong, and whenever his brothers were upset or hurt. And right now he did it again, Leo hadn't told him about Raph's injuries, but he knew Mikey knew something was wrong.

"Just tell me Leo" Mikey interrupted Leo's thoughts fiercely. "I'll crawl to the infirmary if I have to" There was a slight hint of humor in his voice, and somehow Leo knew he had to tell Mikey, whether he wanted to or not.

"Alright I'll tell you, but it isn't nice" Leo said after a few doubting seconds. "And we have to wait 'till Donnie's awake, and you come with me to the living room" Leo sighed and stood up, offering Mikey a hand, helping him up.

He knew they were all different, but a few things they had in common, and one of it was their stubbornness. Raph was practically always being stubborn but once Mikey had his mind set on something, nobody could talk to him, not even Sensei.

"Can do" Mikey grinned, happy Leo wanted to tell him and grabbing Leo's hand. Leo grinned too, happy that his little brother was happy too. Mikey pushed himself forwards a little bit and Leo hovered him up, bridal style. And for the first time, Mikey wasn't embarrassed in Leo's hold.

And Leo was glad he wasn't, but he was scared, no terrified to tell his 2 youngest brothers about Raph's condition, he didn't want to burden them, but he knew he had to tell sooner or later. And that terrified him.

TMNT

Leo watched closely as Donnie fluttered his eyes open. "Donnie?" Mikey whispered, trying to lean towards his brother, but was too short to reach. Leo crouched down next to the couch, taking Donnie's hand and slowly stroking it.

"Ugh… what happened?" Donnie groaned, placing his hand on top of his own forehead, wincing slightly at the warm feeling of it. Another groan escaped his lips and his head fell to the side, looking over to his little brother.

"Welcome back sleeping beauty" Mikey grinned. "You've been out of it for half a day" Donnie frowned slightly, taking in everything Mikey had told him. Mikey was sitting, and his legs showed no sign of response, which meant he was still paralyzed.

Slowly Mikey looked up to Leo and his smile fell. Donnie frowned even more, there was something they weren't telling him. "What's wrong? Donnie asked, looking between Mikey and Leo. The blue banded turtle shook his head, signaling to Mikey not to tell.

"Leo has something to tell to both of us" Mikey said and turned towards Leo. "But he doesn't want to tell us." He continued. This caught Donnie's attention and his head shot up, narrowing his eyes slightly. Leo sighed deeply and looked towards Donnie.

He knew Mikey would insist on him telling it. And no matter what position he was, leader or not, Mikey wanted to know. And after Mikey informing Donnie, his genius brother wanted to know too.

"I don't want to keep anything from you guys…" Leo said slowly, biting his lip. "You won't like it Don, and I just don't want to bother you with it, I'm the leader and not you" And this time it was Donnie who was sighing, he was doing it again, forcing all the responsibility on himself.

"He's talking about Raph" Mikey cut in, seeing Donnie's confused look. Mikey already knew it was about Raph, but Donnie didn't even know he had woken up. A flash of uncertainty washed over Donnie's face, mixed with fear, fear for his older brother.

"Leo…" Donnie whispered, catching Leo's attention. "I know you try to protect us, and I appreciate that, but we are part of the family too. What happened to Raph?" He asked and narrowed his eyes slightly. He wanted to know. And Leo knew there was no arguing with him.

Raph and him fought a lot, and could both be stubborn a lot of times whereas Donnie and Mikey were the more 'neutral' group in every conversation or fight, which they rarely did. But Donnie could just be as stubborn as Mikey once he set his mind on something.

"He woke up last evening" Leo said after a few minutes of hesitation. Donnie's head shot up slightly, while Mikey stayed where he was, already knowing Raph had woken up. But what he didn't know was what Leo was about to tell.

"He re-opened his wounds and dislocated his bone. W-we had to s-set it again" Leo choked, taking a deep breath to calm himself down. "He hasn't woken up ever since, and I fear he never will, if he doesn't wake up soon" Leo said, bursting into tears.

It took a few seconds for them to process. Their big brother, he had been awake and then something terrible happened. And because of that he could die, if he wouldn't wake up soon. Mikey was silently crying over the news but Donnie could do nothing about it.

His eyes were unfocused, lost in his own mind. His big brother could die, Raph had woken up and he wasn't there, couldn't treat his wounds. If he hadn't been stupid enough to be injured, he could've treated his big brother.

He was supposed to be the genius, he was supposed to treat their injuries, make Mikey better. But more importantly, keep Raph alive. _I'm so sorry Raph, so sorry_. And before he knew thick tears were streaming down his cheeks.

**And Donnie joined the guilt trip D: **


	18. Chapter 18

**Merry Christmas everybody! I just love these days, family visiting, and lots of food ^^  
>Hopefully everybody has a wonderful Christmas too!<br>And hopefully you'll enjoy the next chapter :D**

**TMNT**

Slowly his eyes fluttered open, wincing at the bright light above him but he pushed it away. The stinging pain in his arm was still present but it was less than he could remember, and it was bearable if he wasn't moving around.

"Hey Raph" Leo's voice beamed through the room. Raph groaned slightly and glanced to the left. As expected Leo was sitting next to him, a faint smile on his face. The same smile appeared on Raph's face, although it was still very weak.

"How long was I out?" He grunted, hating how weak his voice sounded. Leo sighed and stood up, sitting on the edge of the bed and taking Raph's good hand. Any other time Raph would've pulled away but he found himself too weak to do so, and this time he didn't mind.

"A little bit more than 12 hours" Leo said and trailed towards Raph's bandaged arm. "Do you remember what happened?" He asked in a low voice. Raph looked down at his own arm but he already expected to see the bandages around them.

"I remember… bits and pieces" He mumbled, still slightly out of it. "Sensei did this right?" He asked in a low voice. Leo swallowed heavily and slowly nodded when Raph asked the question. Raph closed his eyes for a bit before opening them.

"He stabbed me I think.. and broke my arm or something" He continued his own story. "Next thing I knew was waking up and busting ma own arm, was the attack yesterday?" He frowned slightly, confusion washing over him and his voice rasping.

Leo sighed and turned around, reaching out for the nightstand on which a glass of water was standing. He grabbed the glass and carefully brought it over to Raph's mouth. Gratefully Raph opened his mouth and allowed Leo to help him.

"No…." Leo sighed as he slowly tipped the content of the glass into Raph's mouth. "The fight happened 9 days ago, you've been in a coma for 8 days…. you woke up yesterday" Raph's eyes slowly widened as realization hit him.

Leo sighed again and took the glass away from his younger brother as he noticed he wasn't drinking anymore. Raph's free hand began to tremble slightly, 8 days he had been out. Slowly he looked up.

"H-How are the others….. Donnie… he was stabbed and…." Raph mumbled. His voice sounded so weak but for once he didn't care, all that mattered was his brothers. He hadn't seen them. He had been out for 8 days… in a coma.

He saw Donnie getting stabbed with Sensei's sword. Right through the hips, all the way through. And he didn't even know what happened to Mikey. Maybe Mikey died in the fight, and maybe Donnie bled out after he passed out.

"Don't worry, they are okay" Leo whispered, seeing Raph's sadness. Raph gritted his teeth as he looked up, trying to keep his tears away. "You all slipped into a coma, and you barely survived" Leo said with a deep breath, also remembering the fear he felt back then.

"Mikey woke up 4 days after the attack, and Donnie a few hours later but…." He stopped for a second, he didn't want to tell Raph right away, but seeing the narrowed eyes of his little brother, he knew there was no way he could escape this.

"Donnie is still injured and in a lot of pain, even with the medication." Leo said, remembering every painful grunt and complain that came from Donnie, not to mention the terrible fever he was having right now, which luckily was subsiding slightly.

"And Mikey's legs…." Again he drew a deep breath. "He's paralyzed, his legs are" He said, wincing slightly. Slowly some tears appeared in Raph's eyes, something Leo rarely saw with his little brother, and Raph angrily wiped them away.

Leo cringed as multiple swearing escaped Raph's mouth, words that would get him grounded forever but for once, Leo allowed it.

"Shit Leo!" Raph exclaimed and looked up to his older brother. "How…. are they?… And Sensei? Where is he?" He called out, bailing his left hand into a tight fist while the other one kept useless at his side. Leo forced himself to relax as he grabbed Raph's hand again.

"Donnie is in his room for now and Mikey is in the living room." Leo informed him, quickly glancing towards the door. "He still has feeling in his toes, but he too … I don't know, depressed to even try. Not even Donnie could talk him into trying" Leo said with hurt in his voice.

"And father? He isn't blaming himself right?" Raph winced slightly as he looked over to Leo. His older brother didn't answer, but the look on his face said enough. "He was under some stupid curse!" Raph exclaimed, gritting his teeth.

"Tell Donnie that, he's the one blaming him" Leo snorted and looked away after that comment. He didn't want to be angry with Donnie too but even though he couldn't help it. Donnie knew how bad father felt already, and still he blamed him.

"Idiot" Raph exclaimed, accidently straining his inured arm. "Auw" He winced, his left hand shooting towards the injured one but before he touched it he restrained himself, digging his own nails into his hand to prevent himself from complaining even more.

Leo carefully grabbed Raph's un-injured hand and rubbed it slightly. "He will come around" He sighed, bringing the blanket up to Raph's chin and standing up. "Just try to rest for now, I'll be back soon" Leo said and stood up.

Leo turned around and walked away, leaving Raph alone in the infirmary but just as he opened the door a low groan came from Raph. Leo whipped his head around and mentally slapped himself. Raph was hovering himself up, his right arm cradled close to him.

"Raph what are you doing?!" Leo cried out and ran back to his little brother, ready to push him back onto the bed but Raph's good arm stopped him from doing so. His face was contracted with pain and his body was shaking but even though he was still continuing walking.

"Not going to happen fearless, I'm fine" Raph huffed as he took another shaky step, almost collapsing where he stood. Leo snorted slightly and crossed his arms in front of his chest, frowning slightly as he looked at Raph, who was still stubbornly walking.

"Really Leo, as long as I don't move…-" He snapped but was stopped when he completely crumbled to the ground, his legs giving out and him falling onto the ground. A loud hiss escaped his mouth as a stinging pain shot up his arm but luckily he managed to catch himself with his good arm.

"You're so stubborn Raph, you shouldn't be moving" Leo said, trying to sound angry but his voice was filled with concern, Raph huffed and looked away, he too knew that Leo was right but he still denied it. And apparently Leo noticed it too.

With quick movements he threw Raph's good arm over his shoulder and helped Raph onto his feet again. "You're still an idiot for walking" Leo said but smirked slightly. Raph gave a playful snort as he took another step.

Raph was still swaying on his legs but that was to be expected, this was his first time walking after being in a coma for 8 days after all. Leo had his free arm around Raph's shell, being careful not to hurt his injured arm, or strain it or anything.

Leo glanced towards Raph, his face was still contracted with pain but also determination. And Leo couldn't help but smile, even if Raph was being stupid by moving already. It meant he was healing, and finally after so many days he was sure none of his brothers would die.

And he couldn't deny the feeling that was building up in his stomach. That maybe his family wasn't completely shattered after all.

**Reviews would make my Christmas :) **


	19. Chapter 19

**This took me so long to write *sigh*  
>I had to re-write several times and I'm still not happy about it. <strong>

**TMNT**

When Leo and Raph emerged from the lab they were immediately greeted by the sight of their little brother sleeping on the couch. He was curled up, with his shell towards them. His legs were sprawled on the couch, uselessly beneath him and his arms were under his head, using them as a pillow.

"Is he… okay?" Raph rasped, still slightly disorientated but most importantly totally exhausted from the walking as he looked over to his little brother, sleeping on the couch. He knew his brothers, he knew Mikey, and one thing was that he was never quiet in his sleep.

And the fact that he seemed so life-less worried him. He glanced over to Leo, who was still on his left side, hovering him up so he wouldn't fall down. His legs were still buckling beneath him but he carried on, with Leo's help.

"He's fine Raph" Leo sighed and seemed to think for a moment. "It's because of his legs, he can't move them remember?" He said after a couple of seconds. Raph was shocked for a few seconds before glancing to Mikey again.

"And Donnie?" He hated how pathetic he sounded, so desperate. But in a way he was, he was desperate to know about his brothers, he needed to see them, he needed to know if they were okay. If they were holding up, if they needed help. Not like he would ever admit it.

"Physically he's healing but his emotional state is different" Leo said as he approached the couch. "It's all messed up Raph… Donnie blames himself" He said as he slowly lowered Raph on the couch. He grunted slightly and closed his eyes for a bit, waiting for the pain in his body to subside.

"Why?" Raph cracked as Leo threw a blanket towards him. Raph gratefully accepted it and tried to fold it around his body, failing miserably. Leo stepped forwards as he looked over to Raph trying to wrap himself inside the blanket, using one arm.

He walked up to Raph and tried to take the blanket but Raph glared at him, trying to fold the blanket around him another time. Leo sighed slightly.

"I won't tell anybody" Leo said as he grabbed the blanket from Raph. He knew how his younger brother was, and that he never wanted to accept any help, especially when he was injured. Raph huffed but allowed Leo to wrap him inside of the blanket, dropping it along his shoulders.

Leo took a step backwards once he was done and glanced over to the sleeping form of Mikey. Who was still with his shell towards Raph and him. And only the slow breathing indicated he was sleeping. Leo sighed as he sat down on the couch, being careful not to hurt Raph in the process.

"Just a few hours ago I told Mikey and Donnie what happened to you, after you woke up" Leo suddenly started. Raph looked up to Leo and nodded slowly, knowing exactly where Leo was talking about. The moment he tried to move his arm.

"He thinks it's his fault you're not healed yet, and Mikey can't walk yet. He has the idea he is supposed to help you because he's the 'genius' in this family" Leo said, Raph was silent, slowly taking everything in. Donnie was blaming himself.

Raph wanted to open his mouth, say something but the only thing he could focus on was Leo, slowly burying his face in his hands. Raph found himself unable to say anything.

He could only stare at Leo's shoulders, as they slowly began to shake. And before Raph even knew what was happening a chocked sob escaped Leo's throat, immediately followed by another. And it broke Raph's heart to hear how devastated his older brother was .

"The whole family is falling apart Raph… I-I can't …." Leo whispered, shaking as more sobs wracked through his body. Raph grunted and stretched his good arm, trying to reach his older brother but he was too far away.

"Shut up Leo" Raph growled. Leo's head immediately shot up, staring at Raph with swollen eyes. "Stop whining like a little baby, yer our leader damn it" Raph cursed narrowing his eyes, staring towards Leo. His breathing hitched in his throat, not expecting Raph to snap like that.

And only then Raph noticed the large bags under Leo's eyes, all indicating how badly Leo was affecting by all of this as well. That his damage wasn't physical, but emotional. He was suffering, maybe even more than him, or Mikey or Don.

Helplessly watching his brothers, watching his family was shattering right in front of him, and there was nothing to do about it.

"None of this is yer fault Leo. Donnie is just being an idiot" Raph said, softening his gaze slightly. "We will get through this fearless, we always do" Raph said, offering a small smirk. Leo returned the smile but Raph could see through the smile. He wasn't believing it.

"But y-your arm… and Mikey's legs…." Leo hiccupped, rubbing his eyes to get rid of the tears, but every time he did new ones replaced them. Raph growled, trying to cover up the hurt in his own heart. He would never admit it, but it was so painful watching Leo like that.

His older brother had always been their 'fearless leader'. Someone who wasn't afraid of anything, and always protected them. Leo rarely cried, one of the few things he shared with Leo, and never in front of someone else, except maybe Splinter.

"C'mere" Raph sighed. Leo was frozen for a few seconds but then slowly shuffled closer to his younger brother. "Mikey will heal, and if he doesn't we will find a way to deal with it, got it?" Raph said, not leaving any space for Leo to protest.

"And you?" Leo's voice was dangerously low, barely above a whisper but Raph wasn't surprised by it. He gripped Leo's shoulder with his good arm, pushing back the pain in his injured one and looked over to his older brother.

"I will heal too" He said sternly, not sure if he could handle him being handicapped himself. A slow smile spread on Leo's lips, and even though it was faint, it was true. And Leo wasn't faking it for Raph's sake, trying to pretend or anything.

"Thanks little bro" Leo grinned, teasing Raph slightly. "I should probably check on Mikey or something" Leo said and got ready to stand up when a strong hand around his bicep stopped him. He frowned, looking towards his bicep, only to see Raph's hand wrapped around it.

Leo wanted to protest, asking for Raph to let him go but before he could do so, Raph pulled him closer to him again, staring into his eyes.

"Yer not going anywhere Leo, yer exhausted" Raph said with a harsh voice. Again, Leo wanted to protest but Raph pulled off Leo's mask without asking, revealing the huge bags under Leo's eyes. "Don't lie Leo, 'cause you're not good at it. When was the last time you slept properly?!"

Raph huffed, throwing Leo's bandana towards his older brother. Leo caught it and stared at it for a while before sighing, hanging his head low.

"My point exactly" Raph said, smirking slightly. "Go to bed Leo, I can handle sleeping beauty over there" Raph commended, gesturing to Mikey, who was still sleeping on the couch. Leo sighed but then stood up, not even bothering to tie the mask around his eyes.

"Thanks Raph….I guess I needed that" Leo said and reached for some pills in his pocket. "Just take these, I was going to give you them in the infirmary but… well you know." Leo said hastily and handed Raph the 2 pills, who swallowed them without any water.

Leo nodded tiredly and walked over to Mikey, covering him with a blanket too, tugging him in. "I think he's warm enough mom" Raph teased and playfully winked towards him. "Now go to your room, sleep. I'll scream if I need anything okay?" Raph added with a grin, seeing Leo's worry.

Leo's shoulders relaxed slightly before he headed towards his room. Raph smirked and shook his head, figuring Leo would act like this, exhaust himself like that. He shifted slightly on the couch and looked over to Mikey. It was time to wake this sleeping beauty so he could talk to him too.

**TMNT**

He knew he shouldn't be here, that it was a stupid idea but still he kept walking. He could sense the distress of his second youngest son, the troubled spirit of his. And he couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand seeing Donatello's' spirit so desperate, and so helpless.

He recognized Donatello's suffering, the guilt that was consuming him, that he was torturing himself with. There was no way he could be blaming his son for not curing Raphael, like Donatello was doing right now. Blaming himself.

But for some stupid reason he was. Mikey's paralyzed legs, Raph's mangles arm, Leo's distress, everything.

The same feeling he got when he walked past Mikey. Seeing him curled up on the couch and sleeping. He was always the one who would be thrashing in his sleep, kicking and trashing, but right now he was completely life-less, his legs were.

The depressed mood that lingered around his usual happy son, the smile he always wore, disappeared because of him.

The feeling when he listened to Leo's silent cries. The worry that filled him and the responsibility he was forced to bear. The responsibility of keeping a whole family together while watching his brothers drawing more and more to themselves.

Thinking he was failing as a leader, as an older brother. His little brothers falling apart, broken and mended by their own injuries.

The feeling he got every time he felt Raph's pain. The uncertainty and fear in his mind. No matter how much Raphael tried to conceal it, Splinter could feel every ounce of pain, every ounce of fear. The pain that was in his arm.

The uncertainty of every waking up, and ever recovering fully. Weak and disorientated from his sudden awakening, and then confronted with the pain and suffering of his family.

He took a deep breath before placing his paw on the cold door handle, pushing it down to open it. The room was too warm for his liking but he knew his sons liked the warmth. Especially when they needed to heal. Every time one would get injured or got scared.

The sobbing sound of his second youngest wasn't that hard to hear, even though Donnie was obviously trying to stiffen them, hoping nobody would hear them.

Immediately the memories floated in. "_It's because of him Mikey can't feel his legs, he forced Raph into a coma, and Leo lives with constant uncertainty, and that is something I can never forgive him!" _Sensei squeezed his eyes shut for a second as the words wracked through his body again.

"Donatello?" He quietly called out, trying not to startle his second youngest son. Immediately the sobbing ceased and Donnie looked up, his eyes red and swollen from the tears. A sniffling sound escaped his throat and he hastily wiped his eyes, drying his tears.

"S-Sensei" Donnie stuttered, suddenly aware of his father standing in the opening. Splinter sighed and walked in. Donnie was in his bed, his shell down and his covers drawn up to his chest, where his plastron met skin.

"What is wrong my son, are you in pain?" Splinter asked, worry lingering in his voice, but Donnie shook his head slightly, bursting into a new set of tears. Splinter's stomach tightened painfully, seeing the tears falling down Donnie's cheeks.

"You can tell me my son" Splinter continued, sitting down on the edge of Donnie bed and taking his hand, slowly stroking it. Carefully Donnie untangled his hand from Sensei's grip, turning his head from him.

"It's all my fault" Donnie muttered, more tears streaming down his face. Splinter's face flushed by Donnie's sudden confession. He slowly brought his hand up to Donatello's shoulder, placing it on top and slowly nudging it like he did all those years ago.

"What do you mean my son?" Splinter whispered lowly. Donnie's shoulder shook beneath his hand, trembling as sobs wracked through his body. Pain was clearly writing all over his face but Donnie ignored it, he could only focus on the terrible feeling, crushing his heart.

"I should've been there when Raph woke up" He muttered bringing his own blanket up to his face. "I should've treated Mikey, fixed his legs, I should've been here for Leo, I….." Donnie bit his lip, burying his face in his blanket.

"Nobody blames you Donatello" Splinter said gently. "Nobody expects you to, you were hurt badly yourself and you are healing as we speak" he added, clear sadness in his voice. Because the only reason why Raph had to be fixed, and that Donnie was unable to, was because of him.

"B-But I s-should've been there…. I c-can't handle t-the guilt…" Suddenly he stopped, a lump forming in his throat, and before he knew he had wrapped his fragile arms around his father, squeezing him as much as his own body allowed to.

"I'm s-sorry d-dad." He hiccupped, burying his face in Sensei's kimoto. "I w-was mad… a-and it w-was wrong t-to …." He stopped mid-sentence, not knowing how to continue himself as he wrapped his hands around Sensei's kimoto, squeezing it until his knuckles were turning white.

"It is alright my son, hush now" Splinter tried to soothe him, wrapping his own arms around Donnie's shivering body. Both from the sobs and the pain that radiated through his body.

"No… it's n-not.. I n-never…" He hiccupped, gripping Sensei's kimoto even tighter. "It w-wasn't you S-Sensei… I know I-it wasn't y-you… I'm s-sorry.. I l-love you" Slowly Donnie's movement ceased, struggling less and less in his father's hold.

And eventually he went fully limp in his hold, the guilt and the pain becoming too much. Splinter sighed and lowered his son on his bed again. He quickly lifted the blankets but fortunately there was no blood, which meant Donnie hadn't torn his stitches like Raph had done.

Being careful not to hurt him, Splinter placed Donnie a little bit more aside so he could sit next to him. He placed the blanket on top of him too and Donnie immediately snuggled closer to him, but kept his eyes closed.

Splinter wrapped his arm around Donnie as a faint smile crept over his face. His son forgave him. He turned his head towards his second youngest and softly planted a kiss on top of his head.

"I love you too my son"

**TMNT**

**Hopefully it wasn't that terrible *crosses fingers*  
>Next chapter will be better (hopefully) <strong>

**Goodnight! **


	20. Chapter 20

**It's Friday, which means I don't have to work until midnight to study for my test tomorrow, so I decided to give y'all a quick update before getting back to learning ^^ **

**Not my best chapter, but I had to re-write this so many times before I was actually partly satisfied with the result… Hope you like it anyways! **

**TMNT**

Raph grinned slightly as she grabbed a pillow, shifting slightly so he could throw it in the right way. Mikey was still peacefully sleeping on the couch, with his shell still towards Raph and the soft snores coming from him.

Leo had gone to his room just a few minutes ago, finally allowing himself some sleep after Raph had talked to him. And it surprised Raph that Leo hadn't passed out from exhaustion yet, figuring the huge bags he had under his eyes. Raph shook his head slightly and focused on his sleeping brother again.

Raph smirked and threw the pillow, hard. A few seconds it was in the air before it collided with the back of Mikey's head. Mikey whined from beneath the pillow and grabbed it. He groaned slightly and turned around using his arms, twisting his legs afterwards.

"Why did you….Raph?!" Mikey exclaimed as he noticed his older brother sitting on the couch. "You're awake again, oh man you've no idea how good it is to see you" He grinned, moving himself upwards a bit, giving his older brother a huge smile.

"It's good to see you too bonehead" Raph smirked, studying Mikey slightly. Everything Leo had told him in the infirmary was right. Mikey's legs were showing no sign of movement, which meant they were indeed paralyzed, and just as expected Mikey was covering it up with a smile.

"Let me guess, too stubborn to stay in the infirmary?" Mikey grinned, watching Raph close and frowning slightly. "He was getting water and you stood up, he offered to carry you, you refused and walked all the way to the couch." He said after a few seconds, giving his best guess.

"Almost little bro, I fell and he supported me. Bet ya liked to see that" Raph snickered. And before they even knew, they were laughing out loud. Nobody really understood their relation, and especially not their humor, but for the moment Mikey nor Raph cared.

"I missed you Raph, the lair's been too quiet without you" Mikey grinned, wiping away the tears form the corner of his eyes from all the laughing. Raph grinned and shook his head slightly. Sometimes Mikey just didn't make sense.

"You've always been the loud one" Raph teased, winking playfully. "But I missed you too little bro" He added. Mikey snickered himself as he noticed the dis-comfort on Raph's face. His older brother had never been good with words, or hugs or anything, but Mikey still knew he was a big softie.

There were silent for a moment, both not knowing what to do. Mikey was uneasily picking at his legs, and whether Mikey noticed it himself or not, he was tapping on his legs, like he was expecting some reaction.

"Mikey' Raph cut in, ceasing Mikey's actions. "I actually woke ya up because I wanna talk about something… your legs" He always hated talking, he just didn't like it, but right now he just detested it, having to talk about Mikey's 'handicap'.

"Well there isn't much to tell really" Mikey shrugged, looking away and gazing towards the ground. "They got smashed between some rocks and now I can't move. Okay?" That last word was supposed to come out harsh, but instead it was just barely above a whisper.

"And what are ya goin' to do about it?" Raph snapped, raising his voice slightly. Mikey blinked a few times, surprised by Raph's sudden mood change. One moment they were laughing and cracking jokes, and they next thing Raph was snapping at him.

"Nothing…. I don't know how to.." Mikey whispered as he bit back some tears. "Look, can we just drop it? I don't wanna talk about it" Mikey said, wanting to turn his head away from his older brother but stopped when Raph opened his mouth again.

"Don't even dare Michelangelo" He growled, catching Mikey's attention again. Raph never used his full name, or any of his brothers. Only Sensei really acknowledged them by their real name, and only when something was wrong they were addressed by their full names by their brothers.

"Do you even know how long a recovery for paralyzed legs will take?" He continued, raising his voice in annoyance and narrowing his eyes dangerously. It was clear that Raph was pissed by Mikey's attitude, not even trying to heal while he had been out for days.

"Well.. no" Mikey stuttered, scratching the back of his neck uneasily, he didn't like how Raph was snapping at him, and he didn't understand why Raph would even do that. Raph wasn't that stupid that he wouldn't know it was a tough subject for Mikey, and still he didn't seemed to mind.

"Do you even know how likely it is for you to recover?" He dared, bailing his left hand in a fist, while his injured one was still cradled close to his body.

"No" Mikey whispered, getting more nervous as Raph continued to stare towards him.

"Do you even know what you have to do?" Raph exclaimed.

"No" Came the same reply. Raph gritted his teeth, clearly annoyed but trying to keep his emotion at bay, for Mikey's sake, and for his arm.

"Shell Mikey, you haven't done anything at all! Leo is working so hard to keep us together, Donnie was fucking stabbed in the side and father is consumed with guilt because he hurt us. And all you do is whining like a little baby!" Raph ranted.

"I'm not whining!" Mikey suddenly exclaimed, feeling the unusual anger bubbling up again. He hated the feeling, he hated feeling so angry but right now he couldn't but feeling angry at Raph's comments. And the worst thing, Raph wasn't regretting them.

"Yes you are! Yer just whining, and a cry baby and you want everyone to pity you because of your stupid legs" Raph continued, narrowing his eyes once more. He was really starting to tick Mikey off, and his little brother was shaking with both sadness and anger.

"I'm not a cry baby!" Mikey yelled. "If you want me to do something, fine! I will! Tomorrow when Leo gets back I will start to train, and I'll prove I'm not a cry baby" Some tears were falling down Mikey's eyes as he looked away, angry at his older brother.

He couldn't believe Raph would even say such things to him. Mikey's head whipped around when he heard his older brother smirk. Mikey wanted to yell even more when he saw Raph grinning towards him, but then realization hit him. He closed his eyes for a bit and let out a long sigh.

"You did that on purpose did you?" Mikey said in a low voice. "You made me angry on purpose to get me to train?" The smirk on Raph's face grew into a smile and he nodded. He hated making his little brother upset, but seeing the astonished, but happy look, on his face made it all worth.

"Took you long enough" He smirked, happy as Mikey smiled slightly. "If you tell the others I'll smack you but… I'm here for ya kid. And I won't ever leave ya" He added, hesitating slightly. A grin appeared on Mikey's face.

"Thanks Raph…." Mikey whispered. "I needed that"


End file.
